Crazy Things That Happened to Me

This story has several parts so this will be Part 1 of my life story. This started around March of this year and to me, it was kind of crazy along with knowing how boys are at the end. I could not understand some of the things that went on because I was in a 5-year relationship with my baby's daddy. During the 5 years, my boyfriend would be the one to break up with me then we would get back together. This time was different. At the beginning of April I broke up with him this time and this was my first time. This is how it started...

It was 2 weeks before we broke up and I started becoming very distant from him even though we lived together with our child. The reason for this being is because he had said some things that were not necessary along with out of my control to tell him to stop. I started talking more to my friends along with just being on social media more than I did before that argument. Out of nowhere, a friend from junior high and until high school contact me saying hello and was asking what I was doing now since he last seen me at our high school graduation. We will call him Ted for now.

We started texting and I was kind of interested since he would want to talk about my feelings that were going on through my head. We would not stop texting each other until we went to sleep, which was the first for me because no one would do that for me. I can tell you guys that I wanted to talk to someone new because of the situation I have been dealing with for 5 years for unconditional love for my baby's daddy, but I could not get the same feelings back from him. Ted told me things that every woman would want to hear; "just leave him, I'll be there for you and your daughter." I was kind of shocked along with "what the hell are you saying, you're barely 20 years old, why would you want another man's child in your life?" I know, it sounds stupid of how my "affair" is, but I have not been with any other guy than my baby's daddy, you are usually vulnerable when you have so much on your plate and life changing processes.

On the first day of April, I went out and went for a walk with my younger cousin brother and sisters. My younger cousin sister knew about Ted and wanted to talk to him and see how he was like and how he sounded. I remember calling him and this was our first call. He sounds nervous along with not wanting to say the wrong thing to her, mostly when she was asking him all kinds of questions. With every question she had asked, surprisingly he answered them all with no hesitation or concerns with what she asked. To me, that was interesting and attracting since he was sincere and nice about his answers. My feelings were weird though like even before Ted was communicating with me, I felt hurt and confused with my current boyfriend if he really loved me or not. That feeling was confusing and a little embarrassing.

I felt a panic in my heart and made a decision that night to break it off with my baby's daddy and I was scared of what he would say. I started to walk back home and told Ted that I would text or call him back later because I will be busy for a little while. I walked through the back door and felt anxiety. I went to the kitchen and grabbed some water and went into the room he was in. I looked at him and before I could think of what to say, my mouth just opened.

"I think we should just break up."

"What's wrong babe? Why would you say that? We're okay, there's nothing wrong."

"I know because I have been just leaving you alone and letting you not have any responsibilities that have to deal with me or Aubree."

"I know babe, but I feel bad and you just—"

"I can't be with someone that is just going to keep breaking up with me along with blaming me for every situation that we go through, like 2 weeks ago I have been thinking about it since you keep trying to leave. You put me in that situation where I have to be the one to stop you and you never do that to me. I'm hurt by everything you said to me on every argument and I can't keep feeling this way. I love you but I don't know if you love me or even want to be around me."

"I do love you but I don't want this to happen. Tell me what's wrong and we can work on it. I—"

"Why is it when I am finally letting you go, you don't want to break up and understand that it is just you that can only do this to me? I don't want to do this if you can't change or if I can't change. It is not fair for you to do this to me only when I am the one who gave you so many chances when you only allow one."

This part got emotional and we both started crying. This was the first he actually cried when I told him we need to be separated. We made an agreement that our daughter would stay with me and he can go to live with his mother. I didn't want it to be the worse breakup ever so he packed his clothes and I drove him to Taco Bell for him to eat before I dropped him off. Crazy right? Breaking up and then going for food. After Taco Bell, he just wanted to go to his older brother's house and we arrived there.

His brother was already outside and my baby's daddy went right up to him and started crying. I was crying a little but not a whole lot because I was driving and I didn't want to wipe my lenses dry. They stayed there for at least 10 minutes and then he grabbed his bag and skateboard. I didn't expect him to open the driver's door but he did and hugged me still crying. I couldn't help but cry again with him. The part that hit me was when he said "I still love you and will always love you."

To be continued....