Crazy or Genius?

I am going to begin this article by confessing that I am indeed a bi-polar Gemini. I started writing an article on another topic and mid sentence, flashed and flipped the script. Now before I get into the topic, I want to clarify that Gemini’s are not two faced. Yes, we can switch it up, but for good reason. For example, just now, my voices reminded me of something causing me to flip. When I say voices most people think ah this chick is crazy. I read a quote the other day that described me perfectly. “If you see me talking to myself please do not disturb, I am in a staff meeting.” And that is exactly what it is. When I am talking to myself, I am in a staff meeting. I have made people nervous because I talk to myself publicly without always realizing it. I am talking full on facial expressions and hand movement and when they stop and look at me or say my name, I get irritated because they interrupted me. I talk to myself in the shower all the time. I need a waterproof recording device so I can remember all these genius thoughts. My shower talks are like my dreams, I do not always remember them after the fact. My ex before last caught me talking to myself in the shower and totally freaked. She brought me my breakfast and then retreated to the other side of the room with a look of horror on her face. She couldn’t appreciate the genius. People who talk to themselves really get a bad rap. We all think out loud and that is considered normal, but do it passionately and you’re crazy. I have even had people tell me "It is ok if you talk to yourself, just don’t answer yourself." Well how else am I supposed to get the answer? Not answering myself would be crazy. Then in desperation, they reply with "Well as long as you don’t argue with yourself." But I do. And sometimes I lose. Can you fathom how frustrating is? Then I am mad at myself and then I won’t talk to me for at least 33 minutes. Those 33 minutes feel like years.

At this point some of you might be thinking, ok you are crazy and need help. First of all, my therapist doesn’t think I am crazy, so there’s that. Second, it is the classic devil and angel scenario. There is that side of me that wants to do something and the side of me that knows I shouldn’t do it. The difference is, I don’t make a pro and con list. I talk it out with myself, because I am the most dependable person I know and who else is going to know what is best for me? I am done with asking other people for advice. Their advice is usually tainted by their own fears or lack of inhibition and I can’t take on other people’s issues. I have plenty of my own. Now, are all of my decisions good? No, they are not. If they were then I would have the right to vote or bear arms. The latter is probably for the best though. Put a weapon in my hands and all my voices harmoniously cast a unanimous vote. As a matter of fact, my voices all agree that I should never bear arms. I called myself carrying a taser when I drove taxi’s because it could be dangerous and sure enough, second passenger I tased him. He kicked my seat and demanded I turn the radio up and well I tased him and when I pulled over to make sure he was ok, he got out and ran. I thought for sure he was going to report it, but he didn’t. That convinced me, myself and I that I shouldn’t even carry that. My voices are open minded enough to learn from past mistakes and make better decisions moving forward. Now some of them learn faster than others, hence the arguments. It’s called self-talk. How many self-help books tell people to look in the mirror and say positive affirmations? Hello, that is talking to yourself. I never talk to myself in the mirror, that would be too weird. I rap in the mirror. That’s normal. I rap in the shower too, when I’m not in a staff meeting. Now, if you hear voices and they tell you to hurt people and you don’t have another voice that intervenes and says no don’t do that, then yeah you need help. I have that one law abiding honorable voice that gets on all of my nerves. Like if want to run someone over, she is always like “no.” I hate being told no. Then another 33 minutes. I love talking to myself so I have learned to not stay mad at myself because 33 minutes of not talking to myself is a long time. They really are some of the best conversations, some of the most passionate debates and man I am so funny. I crack myself up to no end. I think being an only child had a lot to do with it. I have been talking to myself forever. I have never really cared what people think about it. As a matter of fact, doing it on the city bus in San Bernardino was a good way to get a seat when they were all taken and no one ever really messed with me. I remember being a teenager going to Central City Mall in downtown San Bernardino and those creeps would be lurking. They had no idea what was in store for them. So not only are my staff meetings essential to my well being in everyday life, a vital part of hustle, they are also a good way to prevent people with messing with me. I am not sure why people are scared of people who talk to themselves. If I see someone talking to themselves, I get happy. “Yeah bro talk that out, do your thang.” If you answer yourself, good for you. If I ask myself something it is because I trust myself to give me an answer. I wouldn’t ask a homeless person about the interest rate on their mortgage. If you argue with yourself, congratulations that is a sign of pure unadulterated genius and you should give yourself a high five while you’re at it. If you tell yourself jokes and then laugh at your jokes, you got hella personality. When you pass by the mirror go ahead and give yourself a thumbs up and even throw in a wink. For those who believe that people who talk to themselves are crazy, you are incorrect and missing out on the finer things in life.

Before the dust of my genius settles I wanna throw a couple things out there. If you are looking for a way to make money from home, check out my website tornadotorres.com. That page also has the link to my YouTube channel, more articles, healthy products, CBD on demand and last but not least the machine that killed Covid 19.

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