Crashes of Heartache

by Katelyn Doner 16 days ago in divorce

By: Katelyn Doner

Crashes of Heartache

The blue waves crashed against the rocks, clapping together as the droplets hit the air. The grey bluish sky overlooked the calming beach. The air crisp with the smell of fresh salt water. His coffee steaming out of the brim of the paper cup. His mind wandering as he stares at the papers sitting upon his lap. Petition for divorce. Here he was an unemployed writing professor who had three successful books at one time, sitting on the beach staring at these papers. Here they sat mocking him. Only married five years and she was already done with him. She was just like everyone else in his life, they didn't just walk away they ran away. He pushed them away, every single one of them. Pushed them to the breaking point and beyond.

Sipping his coffee which was luke warm by now, he flipped the pages back and forth. Nothing new inside them considering he had read and reread them through about five times. Picking up the pen with a hefty sigh he signs and initials every spot the stickers say too. Slipping the packet of papers back into the god awful manila envelope they came in, his shoulders sag with regret, heartache, and pain. The waves crash against the shore as he sits there, thinking and rethinking. Seagulls fly above and the sun starts to break through the fog. Coffee grown cold is thrown in the trash can as he stands and stretches.

Reaching into his pocket for the car keys he sees the gold band adorning his left hand. The symbol of his love, devotion, and ultimate failure. Slowly he slipped the ring off of his finger and slowly put it inside his pocket. Reaching for the keys he shook his head as he walked off the beach.

Crash! Slam! Whoosh!

The waves grew louder, his heart beat grew to match the water. Unlocking the car he slid in and started the engine, it came alive with a roar drowning out the shattering of his mind and soul. Running a hand through his hair, he finally looked at himself in the mirror. His five o'clock shadow has now turned into stubble slowly growing towards a small beard. His eyes dark purple and blue showing the signs of his lack of sleep. His hair a mess birds would lay their nests in. And his face showed the weight loss, lack of eating properly as well as his taste buds losing their senses. Pulling out of the parking spot slowly, he drove along silently. His mind was still spinning but he knew he had to let her go, he knew he had allow her to be happy. He could no longer be the selfish man he has been for nearly far too long.

Driving up the familiar driveway once more, he stopped the car and turned the engine off gently. Taking a deep breath, he stared at the house he used to call home, the house they built together from scratch before their marriage was official. The house that stored his most precious moments, the house that made him a man, the house that was no longer home. Exiting the car, he grabbed the folder and opened it slowly. Reaching into his pocket he grasped the ring, slipping it into the folder closing it back up once again.

Slowly he walked up the pathway and knocked on the door. As the door opened there she was, the one who got away. The one he pushed away. Here she was and here he was. Lifting his arm without a word he handed her the packet and he could internally hear his heart breaking once more. Here was the end, the final chapter of their book one might say.

As he handed her the manila folder her picture faded away into the crashing waves from his venture earlier. He sees her once again but only in the fog above the waves in the grey bluish light on the beach. Handing the manila folder over proved just what he was thinking that morning, all of those waves crashing against the rocks were all a metaphor for the crashing of his heartache into reality.

Katelyn Doner
Katelyn Doner
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Katelyn Doner
See all posts by Katelyn Doner