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Could a Perfect Partner Save You From a Broken Heart?

What do you do when the perfect person comes?

By Jocleyn SorianoPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 6 min read
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Photo by Sandro Crepulja from Pexels

Whenever a relationship ends, we can’t help but wonder how it could have been saved. Should we have been more patient? Should we have trusted more?

On the other hand, you may also find yourself wondering, “Could I have been saved from my tears if only I had a perfect partner?” A perfect partner. Who could he or she be? What could a perfect partner be like?

It’s so tempting to think about that perfect person who will never seem to hurt you. That one person who seems to have it all. Someone who is charming and witty, kind and generous, supportive and understanding. Someone who never seems to lose his or her temper no matter how troublesome the circumstances may be.

Have you ever thought about that kind of person? If he or she could really exist, do you think you could be saved from all your heartaches?

What’s it like to have someone who loves you without judging you? Someone who knows who you really are and yet accepts you through and through? Someone who understands your many faults and who, getting hurt by them never takes them against you but hopes instead for your good, seeing the best you could still become?

Someone who never gets discouraged with your every fall but saves you without fail again and again? Someone who will never give up on you? Someone who just gives and gives and gives without expecting anything back? Someone who is genuinely happy to see you and to be with you? Someone who’d risk his or her own life just for you?

At first glance, a perfect partner seems to be the solution. Who wouldn’t want someone who’d never lie to you or cheat on you? Who wouldn’t want someone who’d sincerely love you and who’d do anything for your own good?

When we think about it deeper, however, we may begin to see where all our problems are coming from. We may begin to see that even with a perfect partner, life could never be as perfect as we imagined it to be.

Here are some of the reasons why a perfect partner may not be able to save you from a broken heart:

1. You can still misunderstand what your partner is saying

Communication involves both parties that try to understand each other. Even if your partner is clearly saying what he or she means, you can misinterpret his or her words. Your partner would say one thing and you would hear another thing.

It’s not what’s being said that often matters but what you’re hearing and what meaning you give to what you’ve heard.

2. You can still think that your partner is wrong when he or she is actually right

Whereas the first one is about communication, the second one is about trying to acknowledge the truth about something. Which one of you would actually be correct? Even if your partner is perfect, you can still think that he or she is wrong.

3. You can still lack trust in your partner

Trust is not just a matter of having the perfect person. It would not be easy to convince yourself that your partner is always faithful when you’ve had a lot of bad experiences in the past. If people have constantly betrayed you, then trust would depend more on your healing rather than on the perfection of the one you love.

Our lack of trust never limits the love given us, but it always limits the love we’re bound to receive.

4. You can think your partner is being a hypocrite for being too good to be true

Sometimes, it’s harder for us to trust in good people. Somehow, we feel that someone who is being too good to us is no longer being genuine. We may not believe in someone until we see their flaws and weaknesses.

5. You can think that you’re being manipulated

A perfect person would be a very different experience. Even if this person does what’s right and proper all the time, you may never lose your doubts. You may even think that you’re being manipulated. You may think that everything is just an act to control you.

6. You may feel pressured that your partner is demanding so much from you

Having a perfect partner is having someone who will always show us what’s right. In a way, he or she is like a mirror that can also indirectly show us where we’re going wrong. Even if he or she is not telling you to change, you may feel an inner demand to grow.

All lovers must meet somehow, and though we start to love from a distance, we can’t help but desire to overcome this gap so we could reach each other’s core. It’s in this process of becoming more intimate with each other that we strive to change for the better. The bigger the difference to overcome, the more pain you experience along the way.

Love accepts us for who we are, but love would always desire our greatest good.

7. You can feel more vulnerable with a partner who sees you for who you really are

Having a perfect partner is having someone who has the ability to truly get to know you. In a way, it’s an opportunity to be more intimate with a person who understands you from within. This could be a positive thing but this could also cause us much discomfort.

Do we not want to hide some things for ourselves even from those we love the most?

8. You may feel you’re always the one who is blamed

Whenever something goes wrong with your relationship, you may feel that everyone is blaming you for it. If your partner is perfect, who else could have been at fault? It wouldn’t be easy to fight this temptation even if your partner is telling you he or she is not blaming you.

9. You could feel guilty for always hurting your partner

Having an argument or misunderstanding is something that’s normal in relationships. However, when you know that your partner is perfect, you may feel that you’re always the one hurting him or her. Even if your partner tries to hide this from you, you’d still feel it somehow.

Don’t we all hate the feeling of being the cause of someone else’s pain? What more if the one who suffers is the one we love the most?

10. You may think you’re not worthy of your partner

This is probably one of the worst feelings you could ever have. To know that you have the perfect person with you and yet not be worthy of his or her love.

We can receive the greatest compliments from the people who love us most only to reject them all, not because they are not true but because we think we are not worthy.

11. You can still prefer an imperfect partner because you can relate to him or her more

There is nothing as difficult as not being able to relate to another person. Maybe that’s why we sometimes fall for people who have similar wounds or weaknesses. We may hurt each other along the way, but we console ourselves with the thought that we at least understand where the other is coming from.

Final thoughts

A relationship would always require two people to make it work. It needs the adjustment and understanding of both people who are willing to grow in the process of getting to know each other. There is no magic formula to it.

Even if there exists a perfect partner, the relationship must still undergo the process of mutual surrender and sacrifice. Our hearts could still be broken, and we may never be saved from tears, but in the end, what matters is that we have experienced what it means to be truly human. We have given it our all and we have loved another person with our whole heart, mind, body and soul.

You may also want to read Jocelyn's book "Mend My Broken Heart". Get it from Amazon today - click here.

breakups
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About the Creator

Jocleyn Soriano

Writer. Poet. Inspirer! Author of Poems of Love and Letting Go.

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