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Confessions to Mr. Perfect

An Anonymous Letter

By Bella RasulPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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I've kind of been around for years, and each year you got more and more handsome to me but I was never really thinking of you in a romantic way up until maybe 6-7 months ago. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be that girl. I know you've been hurt, I'm good at reading people, plus other people felt as strongly about it as I did.

It made me angry to hear that someone would hurt someone as wonderful as you. And I know we barely get to sit down and get to know each other. But I'm a good observer. Obviously when certain things happen I can't reach out a hand and comfort you or ask, "Are you okay?" That's not my line to cross and I'm very aware that it's not my business.

So I watched and listened from afar and believe me when I say I was perfectly content with that. I didn't say anything because though I am compassionate I think it's really corny to be overemotional. Sorry, but my tough girl exterior isn't a facade. Sorry I can't be weepy and clingy like other girls lol.

But I do care. I love being around your family, so when I hear certain things I absorb them and think about them for a while because this household setting has become very familiar to me and I care personally about everyone in this house.

When your sister cries, I cry. A friendship with her is something I wouldn't trade for the world. Call me cliche. It's okay if you're guarded, I am, too. It's okay if you're not ready to be on a certain level of intimacy. I more than respect that. I'm okay with being just friends, obviously.

I'm not someone who goes out of her way to flirt, I'm not good with words or emotions despite being a writer at heart but I'm good at getting the message across when I find the right words. And I'm really not good with guys.

So...Please don't think it forward of me if I say I think you're beautiful. Trust me, the Earth will continue to spin as if I never said any of this. And I'm damn good at pretending things never happened, after all, it's only awkward if a person chooses to make it awkward.

Everyone has a list of favorite places. Mine are parking lots in the park at sunset, the aquarium and in your home around your amazing family. And to be truthful, whether I'm around or not; I just want people happy.

I think I'm falling in love. But I'm moving. I won't be gone forever but I'm leaving for school. I've never been in love before. So I'm not sure. But I know this is the first time that I truly want to stop looking. I want to wait for him but won't make him wait for me. I just want him happy and he has no idea how I feel. Not sure what to do...That feels more like a confession than a vent lol

+++++++++++++++++++++++

I would totally be lying if I said that I wasn't lost and am not going to be lost without you. I'm glad I've come this far with you. Little things between us keep suddenly popping up and I think it's safe to say that I am honored to be one of your closest friends. Why I'm feeling differently about this, I have no idea. I'm going to miss you, but obviously I'll be back because 1. My parents are still here and 2. You and your family can't get rid of me that easily.

I love each and every one one of you (including that food stealing fuzzy maraca and her bug eyed freak of a sidekick). I'll see you guys really soon lol. Kiss all the little doggos and kitties for me. Even that Satan kitten Tiberius. Enjoy Halloween, punch a few fuck boys and wait for my return.

Love you bunches. Gonna miss you, lots. And I'll say it again. I'll see you soon.I know this was super cringe, and yes, to this day this person has no idea this letter exists.

love
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About the Creator

Bella Rasul

Bella/Bear-20Just a girl with dreams she wants to come true. doesn't everyone?

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