Confessions of a sex worker - Am I gay?

For those of you that don't know, I work on a phone sex line. I have done now for three years off and on. March has been a busy month and all of my wonderful clients have kept me on my toes.

If you have never called a phone sex line, and never participated in phone sex yourself, you wouldn't know the things we discuss on a daily basis.

I work on a line dedicated to kinks and fetishes and I have all kinds of kinky folk call me. But I do sometimes get calls like the one I have just received.

The guy that called me had a quiet voice, he seemed unsure and he wasn't one of my usual callers. He began by saying "I need to talk something through with you". So, I settled in, and readied myself for some big questions.

"My ex-girlfriend had an affair." his voice wobbled. I felt genuinely sorry for him, being cheated on is never easy to discuss. Especially if you loved the person. I encouraged him to tell me more.

"But the thing is, thinking about her sleeping with someone else turns me on." Which isn't the strangest thing I have ever heard, I assure you. Again, I probe for more information. "I can't stop picturing another cock inside her, and it makes me horny, does this mean I am gay or bi?".

And there it was. What he was truly worried about. Being a voice on the end of the phone, someone that he will never know, is sometimes what people need. They need to tell another human being their deepest darkest secrets and not feel judged or fear the consequences.

"Well that depends," I respond, "What is it you like about it? Are you thinking about the other man in the situation? Would you like to interact with that man (or any man) in a sexual way?" I ask.

"No, I don't think so." he responds after thinking for a second.

"Okay, and are you attracted to men? Are there any men you can think of that you would like to have a physical relationship with?" I probe further.

"No, I just like the thought of them having sex with her," He responds, more sure of himself now.

"Okay, I don't think you are bisexual or gay," I tell him.

This is sad. I find the whole labelling system problematic, especially for men. Men that enjoy anal stimulation, men that enjoy cuckolding and men that enjoy lots of physical affection and intimacy are constantly told that there is something wrong with them. That they are too feminine. That they must be gay.

Why force them into a box? My boyfriend was constantly berated by other people for being too affectionate. That isn't fair.

We don't tell women that they must be lesbians if they enjoy sex toys or if they don't instantly orgasm at the sight of a penis, do we? Stop labelling everything and let people be.

And to anyone that think sex work is wrong, tonight I helped someone figure something out that was really bothering him. Tonight I helped someone put their mind to rest on a tough topic of conversation. This isn't the first time either. I get calls from men questioning their sexuality all of the time. I get calls from people that enjoy cross-dressing, enjoy anal, are curious about same sex interactions and from people that just need a sounding board. The sad truth is, that if the people in their lives were more openminded, they wouldn't ever need to ring me.