Compulsory Homosexuality
How Some Members of the LGBTQ+ Community Ignore and Ostracise Sexualities like Bisexuality, Due to the Duality of Its Identity
Pride is a beautiful thing. People come together to celebrate their identities in a way that keeps them united. The community cheers and the flags wave. But did you know that there is another side to this?
When I was 14, I realised I was bisexual. It wasn't hard, I just realised that I had an attraction to both men and women, thanks to rewatching the Star Wars originals a couple of times. At the time, I was scared and thrilled, so desperate to be able to tell people yet terrified of what they might say.
I found an online community of the LGBTQ+ on tumblr, a blogging website where people can express their views freely. And for a moment, I was safe. I had people who were supporting me, I had friends encouraging me, and though I wasn't out to my parents, I was still happy with the place I was in.
Then I found out about @ravefromthegrave.
Their Tumblr was created for the sole reason of being a gatekeeping blog. They'd reblog posts about people celebrating Bisexuality, Asexuality, and other queer identities and attack them. The original post I found them on was a post talking about another female celebrity coming out as Bi. Though people were celebrating it, this particular blog's only comment was along the lines of: "But is she dating a woman?"
This was the first time I had ever encountered any sort of compulsory homosexuality from the queer community, where someone's bisexual identity was defined if they were dating a women. As I spoke to this person, asking for clarification, their continued argument was that bisexuals can "pretend to be straight." Ergo, according to @ravefromthegrave, if a bisexual was in a heterosexual relationship, they weren't LGBTQ+.
Scrolling through their blog, they not only tried to accuse Bisexual people of not being "gay enough" or "invading spaces," they also targeted asexuals, aromantics, and so forth, because they weren't dating the same sex.
Some of our conversation I described bisexuality as "the omnivore of the LGBTQ+ community," and though they understood the concept, their argument stood as this:
"The percentage of bisexuals in homosexual relationships is like 4 percent, yet they act like [Bisexuals are] as oppressed as gay people even when they’ve only ever been in straight relationships."
The criteria of being in the LGBTQ+ community, or to be as accepted in the LBGTQ+ community, has always been that you simply identify as one of the many labels to offer, and yet so many branches in the community have decided it upon themselves to be the guardians that no one asked for.
They went on to argue that: "The world sees you as straight when you’re in a straight relationship. B bisexual could live their whole life completely safe from homophobia should they choose to. So, like, coming out as a bisexual when you’re exclusively dating the opposite sex seems pretty redundant to me. Like, what’s the point?"
Though it can be said that a bisexual could, in theory, ignore half of their attraction and identify as straight, it is harmful to enforce a criteria to be part of a community. The world already punishes people who aren't heterosexual, but to have the community and individuals in it punish people who aren't "homosexual enough," just shows how far we still have to go. If not for the mental wellbeing and acceptance of our own, then whom for?
Disclaimer: This is in no way a full representation of the LGBTQ+ community. This article focuses on only the negative aspects of it, even though it tends to be an open enough community.
About the Creator
Sophie Lincoln
Just a girl trying to find a way to tell her stories.
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.