complex interpersonal relationships

It is unavoidable to revisit interpersonal relationships that "there is no one to like". Therefore, the wisdom of dealing with interpersonal relationships is extremely necessary for everyone. First of all, one of the most important concepts in interpersonal communication is that "everything other people say and do is beneficial to me". Another concept is that "deeds are better than words". As long as these two concepts are the basis, interpersonal relationships will become very easy. What is "the words and deeds of others are beneficial to me"? In our life, it is normal for us to feel helpless, ignored, even despised or ridiculed. Few people live in a situation where they are helped, looked up and praised by others. state. Some words are pertinent to say our shortcomings, such as you failed the exam, others calmly reported your failed score. For example, if you are overweight, others calmly point out your weight. It actually means "looking at the data". But some words are sharp. Like you're such a stupid pig; like you're such a fat bitch. Such remarks can overstate the flaws of the person, and at the same time say something that is not true but reflects the other person's hope: "The other side wants you to be a stupid pig, and the other side wants you to be a fat bitch". Through this kind of motivation, you will find that it is a pity that this person used his great life to curse himself. So, what other people say and do must be in my favor. Among these words and deeds, the pertinent part taught me precision, the exaggerated part taught me illusion, and the hurt part taught me the possibility of human behavior choices. All the words are helping me to expand my abilities - but just like you may pick up a dagger or a bomb while playing a game, it doesn't mean you will use it to kill. Some Mary Sue girls are too deceived by language to truly control language. So words and deeds will be influenced by various small factors, leading to deviations. In the face of such a person, it is far from enough to say that the other party's IQ is not enough. This brings us to the second part, "Teaching by example is greater than words." There is a fundamental practice in Buddhism called "the eight winds do not move". Teaching by example is that when you're being abused and treated out of maxims, you thoroughly treat it as an opportunity to learn, and then demonstrate a high degree of mastery over mundane matters to convince those who doubt you. The foundation of this high level of control lies in the ability to "I know my goal clearly, and I can accumulate all the resources for my goal to achieve it, and achieve it as soon as possible." Even if your goal is just to make a plate of delicious spring rolls, as long as you do it, at least the people who eat it will realize that you have this ability. But many people can't insist on even the most basic things like preparing meals, keeping housekeeping, and memorizing words, so they talk about the world every day. Zhongnanhai didn't pay you salary, the CIA didn't like you, and Wang Sicong didn't sign a contract with you. I hope that people who are destined can firmly grasp the principles of "all words and deeds are good for me" and "deeds are better than words", and influence friends, children, and parents, so that they can start from the most basic meal, sweeping the ground, so that It will definitely resolve most interpersonal conflicts.