by Jacklyn Catherby about a year ago in friendship

The Yin and Yang Theory


Relationships. Relationships are complicated. We are always searching for something that we think will make us whole. The reality is that there are so many traits and characteristics that make up every individual. To try and simplify what I am trying to convey I will use the Yin & Yang symbolization to describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent, as every relationship is dependent upon having these both to suit our needs. To even simplify this more I will give an example:

Take an average plain guy on the street and let’s call him Joe. As far as we're concerned, until we get to somehow know them they seem ordinary. Maybe they have a talent that we deem magnificent... Now this average Joe turns into something more. We are taking someone that we once rated a four, or five and now they can suddenly appear to be a ten. The opposite also happens. We see this extraordinary, beautiful person and they seem to be a ten as far as the eye can see, but then they open their mouth and ugly pours out and they instantly become a one, or two. Duality is such an intricate condition. Duality is an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts, or two aspects of something and when you factor in the Yin & Yang, which is made up of this duality, you have an intricate web being weaved within every relationship we ever have, for our entire life.

Many times throughout our lives we latch on to certain people in which we recognize certain traits because we already have these traits. They are similar and relatable. It makes us feel comfortable when we are with them. Some traits are like a big cozy sweatshirt and they just feel right wearing them, but sometimes those big comfy sweatshirts are not a proper fit, but we keep them anyway because man, don't we like to feel comfortable?

Every once in a blue moon something will happen to the dominant (let's just say) Yin personality and they will meet their Yang. Most likely you will instantly know this is your Yang. Sometimes it may take longer for the Yang to realize it happening (Most likely Yin will foresee that Yang has appeared out of nowhere, but Yang being Yang will take a lot longer to understand it.) Yin sees that Yang is a perfect fit. Duality comes into play and Yang doesn't see it, questions it, does not believe it's truly their Yin. Each senses the remarkability of what's actually happening, but they just can't put their finger on what's happening because it's so rare. This sort of thing doesn't happen all the time.

Many times Yang will be uncomfortable, but it's really what we need because that part of the other person makes up a huge deficit we have in ourselves. It's easy to shy away from this feeling because it's so foreign to us. It's exciting, but because we have been nurturing the familiar in partners over a lifetime we get to where we stop taking chances.

Yin will never be Yang and since relatability and conformity are comfortable, we go through our entire lives never getting to know, or even search out our Yang counterpart. Once you try to conform Yin into being Yang and vice-versa, it no longer becomes the fruitful paradox of simultaneous unity, or duality we all crave and we become bored and unchallenged.

I believe it is vital to step into that uncomfortableness sometimes and just realize that one person will never be perfect and fill every desire. I am not saying we have to settle, but more so be realistic and every once in a while we are lucky enough to find our Yang.

Jacklyn Catherby
Jacklyn Catherby
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Jacklyn Catherby
See all posts by Jacklyn Catherby