Comparing Yourself to Others Could Hinder You From Living a Life of Fulfillment

Many individuals are dissatisfied with their lives because they often compare their lives to the lives of others. They’d complain — and grumble over their perceived inadequacies. They’d reduce their self-worth by frequently having unhelpful thoughts that the other person is doing better than them or that the other person will soon catch up with them.

Dr. Robert Anthony in his book The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidenceasserts that “Comparison is a sign of poor self-esteem. The person who compares himself to others lives in a state of fear. He fears those he imagines are above him. Believing them to be superior, he feels he can never achieve their level of competence”.

Comparing yourself to others can stifle your creative ability. It could also render the attainment of personal growth difficult. This is so because when you frequently compare yourself to others, you prevent yourself from having the right focus in life. You feel enfeebled and demotivated to go after your actual goals. And this could induce low self-esteem and self-doubt. As a result, your creative flairs would begin to diminish.

Comparison induces fear and uncomfortable feelings. It leaves you feeling discontented with life — and at times disoriented with how you go about your daily activities because you’ve shaped yourself to overly worry over things that you shouldn’t worry about. Things that’ll adversely affect how you live your life.

And it becomes debilitating especially when you repeatedly worry that the other person is better than you — or that he or she will soon catch up with you. And this is why it is imperative to understand that those individuals you compare yourself to have different values in life. They see life differently, thus whatever brings fulfillment to them might create a vacuum in your life.

If you live your life always comparing yourself to others — and you even try to achieve the same things as they did. Or at some point, you succeeded in becoming better than them. What’d happen is that you’ll surprisingly realize that you’ve only succeeded in achieving things that are bereft of long-lasting joy — and fulfillment because the accomplishment is almost empty.

This is so because though you’ve succeeded, nevertheless this particular success won’t make a long-lasting positive impact in your life because it is incongruous with your values but very fitting to the values of someone else. And this means that what’s truly yours is still out there waiting for you.

It could become difficult to live a life of fulfillment if you often compare yourself with others — and if you continue to allow your life to be led by what others are doing because you’re going to find yourself making a circular movement in life having conditioned yourself to work on things that don’t add value to your life, but only brings ephemeral glee — and fleeting satisfaction. And this will continue until you retrace your steps — and discipline yourself to only go after those things that you enjoy doing. Things that are compatible with your values.

“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don’t waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually, people will see what you’re great at doing, and if you’re truly great, success will come chasing after you”. — Suzy Kassem

You can’t restrain yourself from beholding how wonderfully good some individuals are at what they do. Or on how successful they are. But you can use the good things going on in the lives of others to remind yourself of possibilities — and not to begin to compare your life with their lives.

In other words, the success stories of other people should serve to remind you that you can equally actualize your goals and desires in due time if you embrace hard work. And that you can as well become admirably good at what you do — a master of your craft by working hard to develop your skill and talents.

Therefore your main task at all times is to strive to become a better version of yourself. You should work on yourself daily to unearth — and bring to the surface the treasures that are hidden inside you. To break your record and to bring fulfillment into your life by working on those things that align with your values.

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Conclusion

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique, Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud”. — Adam Silvera

When you desist from comparing yourself with others and begin to only strive to actualize goals and desires that accord with your values. Not only that you’ll find peace and joy in the process, but you’re also going to experience a long-lasting happy feeling both in the process and in every accomplishment.

You’ll also feel more confident with yourself and in your abilities because you love what you’re doing — and the outcome you’re getting is helping you restore self-esteem in your life.

Furthermore, if you live your life focusing on achieving things that are in agreement with your values, you’ll find yourself constantly adding wonderful memories into your life. You’ll feel fulfilled with the life you’re living by finding joy in the things you do — and contentment in the things you have.

Therefore don’t be hell-bent on pursuing things that are incongruous with your values because doing that could hinder you from living a life of joy and fulfillment.

You should always feel good about yourself. Appreciate the things you have — and strive to become better by improving on any areas of your life that needed improvement.

And always have confidence in your ability to actualize your goals and things that you truly care about by believing in yourself and understanding that it is the right way to live — and a sure way of bringing fulfillment into your life.

Previously published on Medium by the same author.