Coasted

Now I know I'm not the best writer, but this is just going from my mind to my keyboard.

This is a story about a kid who moved along easily within his high school class. He wouldn’t bother making friends due to the lack of interest. Knowing that most people in my age range/class, wouldn’t care to listen to my experiences and such to get to know me, when they already know certain people and have their friend groups established already.

Actual Story begins:

(^Click for a song that represents this story)

My name is Noah, I would consider myself an introvert who can be an extrovert in certain situations. Unknowingly, I become an extremely lively and extroverted- especially when with friends. Although when with my own flesh and blood, I become this whole other character. I am seen as quiet and shy, which creates the illusion in my mind that I really am a quiet and shy kid that can't do anything without the help from my brothers or parents- when it comes to verbal communication to strangers.

Which brings me to the conclusion that I am those things. Ever since I was about 13 years old, my family moved to a better neighborhood- better school and everything. I was excited for most of the summer, until school finally came. I went to homeroom for my schedule and I didn't know who to sit next to since everyone was talking to one another. I didn't know anyone, and this continued for the rest of Freshman year. Until some time during Sophomore year, I met some people that I could consider my friends. Honestly I was only introduced to these people because I was wearing a varsity jacket with a logo on it from a gaming team. Nevertheless, I greatly appreciate the fact that I even had people to talk to, even if it was just for a couple of minutes. Other than that I was still that quiet kid in every class. I would have anxiety trying to put my hand up for the answers or ask questions when I was confused. Only because each class I had, was with people in my grade, and none of them saw me as a friend. Just a quiet Asian kid, in reality they probably didn't even know I was Filipino.

Later during Sophomore year, my friend group was known for Fencing, which was a sport that was offered in my high school. I originally was going to tryout for soccer, but fencing caught my attention and I thought it would be easier to make friends in that sport since I already had my friend group there. It seemed like it was easy for me to be friends with people there, but not real friends. They were just people that would wave or say hi through the halls. Which made Fencing season my most social season during the whole school year. I continued fencing for the remainder of my high school career, which was enjoyable. I actually made some friends that I can consider friends.

Then came senior year. I was super excited, I thought I would be able to do whatever I wanted, act differently, more social and such. I was wrong. I realized I didn't have anything in common with most- if not all the people in my grade. Everyone in my grade had traveled to these special places and such with their friends. All I could think of was, "Damn, that sounds like so much money." And as the quiet Asian kid did, I coasted. I coasted through the my whole high school career. Making a very minimal amount of friends.

The fact that I made a very minimal amount of friends, made it really easy for me to enjoy my own company. I would willingly- and voluntarily, sit alone. This made me love my own company, I would never feel lonely.

Sometimes I would notice my loneliness, like before the gym period started, when the teachers would wait for their students to get changed and such, I would change at a moderate speed because I knew the teachers would wait until everyone is done changing. This made me want to take forever to change because the few minutes before the teachers would call their students, everyone would socialize. Then there would be me, sitting/standing around near, but not too close, to a group of kids talking. I did this so I wouldn’t seem as lonely as one would think if they were to look at my general direction.

As graduation came closer, I became even happier. I was so looking forward to leaving the school, so I wouldn’t have to see the exact same people everyday. None of them cared for me, so I wouldn’t really care for them. I just wanted to get away from these people.

The fact that it was senior year made it easier for me to coast along through the year. I was barely paying attention in my classes, falling asleep and such but still maintaining a good grade. Since I was such a decent student, the teachers wouldn’t really bother me and practically do anything I wanted. Not like I would even do anything to disturb the class environment.

Then came graduation: Everyone was happy, this was probably the most I’ve ever talked to people in my grade. People wouldn’t really come up to me, but they would say, “congratulations” at my general direction. Knowing that it was directly at me, I would just smile back at them and hope for them to leave me alone.

What made me realize how much my loneliness had affected my high school life was when my name was called for me to walk and grab my diploma. As other students were called, the class would be clapping and shouting their names as they walked up, but as soon as I heard my name, I’m pretty sure I had no claps and some people didn’t even have any recollection of me being in the same grade as them. Even some students who were in their special program for when they didn’t speak english fluently, had gotten more claps and even had their name shouted out loud.

This did take a toll on my confidence, but it didn’t bother me much because I knew I wouldn’t be seeing most of these people since they were most likely going out of state for college.