Civilisation within us.

Civilisations rise and fall, but one thing seemingly remains intact throughout the ages - human nature. Or so it seems if one is frequently exposed to news and the online world. The technologies, social structures and circumstances may change, but some of the underlying human dynamics remain remarkably familiar. It’s like watching the same play on repeat, even if actors and decorations are changing.

Let us explore then some relevant shadowy patterns that are worth being aware of in ourselves and others in these times of transition. I believe that the evolution of humankind demands that we rise above them, so it’s worth knowing what they are.

Age old dynamics such as division and polarisation are very prevalent in our society right now, and have been increasingly escalating since the year 2020. It is truly one of the more basic settings of the human psyche to become polarised, and has to do with survival, in my opinion. In the wilderness, there wasn’t much time to reflect and decide whether the other was on your side or against you. In order to survive, it was better to polarise and act quickly: run or fight.

Hence the fight-or-flight response, which we also share with other mammals. There’s also an even more ancient survival response, freeze, which we share with both mammals and reptiles, but being polarised and having an “us against them” mentality is mainly about fight, although many of us freeze as a result of being exposed to those dynamics. These days, of course it doesn’t even have to be a physical fight, so much of it happens online - in the environment which by default holds less accountability and allows people to become even nastier than they would be in person. Needless to say, the negative effects on one’s nervous system are just as real; we are social beings and being attacked by one’s fellow humans inevitably registers as stress on the biological level. Even if some people aren’t consciously aware of it, due to having a “thicker skin”. The body keeps the score either way.

Interestingly, human beings occupy a rather peculiar position in the animal kingdom - we simultaneously are both a hunter and a prey, which I imagine complicates our responses in the moment. An animal usually knows its place in the hierarchy, whether it’s there to eat or be eaten, so, for the most part, no inner conflict enters the picture in the face of danger.

In human beings, the situation can become much more psychologically complicated, as we can simultaneously experience ourselves as vulnerable and powerful, as both the potential victim and the potential aggressor.

The infamous Karpman Drama Triangle comes to mind, with its additional figure of the rescuer - the person who positions themselves as the one who will save the victim from the persecutor. This psychological dynamic is a well studied phenomenon in human relationships of all kinds, and we can move from one role to another relatively quickly, without even being conscious of what’s happening. The Drama Triangle can occur within the same person as an inner conflict between different parts/subpersonalities, between two or three people, among a dozen people, or even between entire countries. The size is irrelevant; the underlying dynamic remains the same and continues to wreak havoc.

Someone who at first feels victimised by a situation may retaliate, become a persecutor and attack the other party - which now occupies the role of victim. A rescuer may step in trying to protect the apparent victim, unaware that a. the party which appears to be a persecutor may not have started the conflict, b. they (rescuer) are really trying to save themselves, their internalised victim who learned that rescuing others soothes their pain. Before long, everyone feels wronged, everyone believes their actions are justified, and everyone has a story about what the others have done to them. That’s just one example of how this game unfolds between people, and there is usually no end to it, unless one or more refuse to play. While inside the triangle, it becomes extremely difficult to find justice and truth, as everyone feels absolutely right.

At a collective level, the same dynamic becomes even more complicated. The whole nations and countries can see themselves as victims, identify an enemy as the persecutor, then assume the role of a persecutor themselves, gaining the support of the rescuer and on and on it goes. Each side may justify its own actions as morally right, while interpreting the other’s actions as proof of malicious intent. There is usually a whole lot of dehumanisation happening, that allows to perceive the other side as alien enough to be destroyed; we don’t have to look far into human history to see this pattern repeating itself. This doesn’t mean that when it comes to any conflict, all sides are equally responsible, or that genuine victims and perpetrators don’t exist. Rather, it shows how easily our perception of ourselves and others can become entangled in a self-reinforcing cycle of blame and justification.

Human beings are also capable of violence that goes far beyond immediate survival. We can kill for power, ideology, revenge, entertainment or simply because we have dehumanised the other. Of course, a human being is also so much more than an animal, but whether every Homo sapiens has equal access to their higher faculties is debatable.

As a side note, I find it ironic that so many religions throughout history would fight one another, and even kill in the name of God. As if there were anything divine in those dynamics. On that level, there is no embodiment of the higher values available. It is fear, power and survival; the domain of the lower three chakras.

Maybe this is the lesson humanity has been struggling to learn for far too long, and perhaps this is why we’ve been experiencing such unusual manifestations of it since 2020, as we are exiting Kali Yuga, the darkest age spiritually speaking.

By “unusual manifestations”, I mean the extent to which this polarisation has entered areas of life that would previously have been considered deeply personal, such as our health, our bodies, our medical choices, and even our relationships with people who made different choices from us. And while fear is something that is natural to experience in an unsafe environment, whether real or perceived, and we probably wouldn’t have survived as species without this instinct; hate, especially a sustained hate based on different beliefs is a choice. Let alone the actions that stem from that hatred.

And there is another survival mechanism that is relevant here, namely desensitisation.

It seems that for some people when the exposure to threatening or disturbing content happens repeatedly, the nervous system can adapt by becoming less responsive to it. What once was shocking can gradually become normalised, this possibly being another way in which the psyche adapts, although arguably it leads to degradation not only of the individuals, but of entire societies.

More specifically - I watched an in-depth video the other day about how current times resemble the collapse of the Roman Empire, and the similarities are striking. What especially caught my attention was the parallel between the desensitisation that occurred as a result of the extensive exposure to the cruelty of gladiatorial games, and the current overload of violent online/media content. The normalisation of such cruelty is often cited as one of the factors that led to the degradation of Roman society.

Still think being sensitive, and as a result affected by violent stimuli, is a weakness? Think again. It’s literally the opposite, and evolution rests on the shoulders of people who can feel.

It’s worth distinguishing desensitisation from dissociation, as the two are easily confused. Dissociation is a trauma response, a kind of temporary leaving of the body or of one’s feelings when reality becomes too overwhelming to bear. It often begins in childhood, in an unsafe environment, and the feelings that were cut off can resurface later. Desensitisation is quieter and more gradual - nothing is switched off in the moment. Rather, through a repeated exposure, what once moved us stops registering as strongly, and we may not even notice it happening. One is a protective retreat from overwhelm, since the developing psyche can’t handle it; the other is a slow, gradual dulling through repetition, and a normalisation of the violent stimuli, which can even lead one to seek it as a form of entertainment, which is perhaps why it can feel more permanent.

So what do we do with all this awareness? Perhaps we begin by paying attention to both our inner world and the outer one. The outer world is highly chaotic at the moment, as is obvious to anyone with eyes to see; but it is our inner world that matters most if we are to build a better civilisation.

The outer storm will subside at some point, but we need to preserve our inner landscape to arrive safely at our destination. That means noticing which role we are playing in any given moment, and choosing what we let into our nervous system.

Sensitive people are the most vulnerable in these times, as they tend to be more attuned to and affected by harsh interpersonal dynamics, but they also hold the greatest strength and potential. Having good boundaries is therefore a must. And while we can’t stop the old play from repeating itself, we can step away and choose not to play a part in it.