Children of the Forest

I can hear birds chirping loudly as they sing to each other high in the tree branches, the crunching of leaves by the feet of small rodents, and the running of river water somewhere off in the distance. Sun rays cut through the spaces of tree leaves and beam on my face. Small insects tickle the bottom of my feet as they run across the forest floor like small troops in a massive army. I woke up to the fresh smell of the pine deep in a forest confused as to how and why I am here. When I fully became aware I realized I was nowhere near home.

My mind begins to spin with so many questions. Frantically, I rise from my forest bed and brush the fallen leaves off my body. I realized that my shirt has a few holes in it with bloodstains. Did it come from me? I searched all over my body for scratches or any clues that would give me a hint of where the blood came from. Minor abrasions were on my hands, there was no evidence to make me think I was in a terrible fight for my life. Or was I?

I looked around where I slept to see what else I might have been dropped off with. There was nothing, no food, no phone, and no answers to my questions. How am I going to eat, which way is home, how am I going to survive? I am so confused, nothing is making any sense. The last memory I have is dumpster diving for food and then I woke up here.

By the position of the sun in the sky, it had to be early morning, but the temperature was already on the rise. My body felt like it was melting with no water in sight. I could hear the water but I couldn’t decipher how far away the distance was from me. I have experience foraging for food through dumpsters but the forest is another situation. Feeling empty with no food, no water, no direction home, and no idea why I’m here, I begin to feel delirious. My vision started spinning at warp speed and I had to take a seat on the forest bed again. My body begins to fall into a psychedelic state of delusion, questioning whether my current circumstance is truly reality.

For the past four years, life has seemed like a detachment from reality before I came to this forest. On my tenth birthday, I lost my mother. No matter what, I'll never forget the moment when my world suddenly crashed. The childhood that I was used to having clashed with the fact that I was now on my own. My mother was the only family that I had. Home was where ever she was until, home became different shelters, and sometimes the streets. I quickly had to figure out how I was going to make it in life without her. I became secluded from the world in my lonely reality. She was the only person who cared for me and gave me the feeling that I was wanted.

As my mind drifts into the thoughts of what my life was like before being stranded in this Forest, I look up toward the sky hoping for answers. My stomach aches for food and water, quickly erasing the wonders I have in my head, demanding me to get something inside my body. I looked around for a sturdy piece of wood that I could use as a weapon and as a tool to hunt for something to eat. I walked over to a tree and snapped a nice thick branch off, it was about three feet in length and one and a half inches thick, perfect for the job. Light and strong enough for my survival.

I began to trek through the forest to find some water and food. The forest is a loud place with so much activity happening at one time. Each living creature is performing their daily duties in the ecosystem, with one clueless stranger trying to survive. As I walked I felt a presence hovering over me, sometimes it felt like it was beside me and other times it felt behind me. Periodically I heard flutters of strong wings and talons gripping to branches as the creature came to a stop. When I turned around to spot what type of creature it could be, it flew away swiftly. It felt like I was being watched.

After walking for nearly fifteen minutes I spotted a bush of berries. My world lit up, my stomach growled for me to stop and eat. I inspected the berries to see if they were poisonous but I had limited experience on how to tell that information. I looked for spots and other clues that could indicate to me whether it was good enough for human consumption. I twirled the berries around to inspect each side. It was dark blue and almost black in appearance. I sniffed it and the berry smelled sweet, reminding me of the many berries I had before back home. After my thorough inspection, I slowly put the berry toward my mouth, still questioning whether my inspection was good enough.

As I’m preparing to eat for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like a screech and the ruffling of leaves. I turned around to look for what it could be. Maybe this is the presence that I felt watching me. I looked up high in the tree branches and saw a wingspan that looked like it covered the sun. A barn owl launched off one of the branches toward me, within a blink of an eye its talons pierced the berry and threw it to the Forest floor.

I've never experienced so many emotions at once. Startled, befuddled, irritated, and still hungry, I didn't know what to do. It felt like I watched the berry fall from my hand in slow motion. The owl landed in front of me calmly and stared right at me. Unsure of the birds' intention I grabbed tight onto the stick I broke off from the tree and began to wave it in front of the owl. I was waving the stick left and right, making noises to scare the owl away but it wouldn't move anywhere. Suddenly the owl expanded its large wings hastily moving them back and forth. I jumped back falling to the ground with a racing heart petrified of being attacked.

The owl walks over to me slowly while I was on the ground, the feathers were all different shades of brown. Its face was circular primarily white with a black ring separating its white-colored face from the rest of its brown body. Its eyes were piercing into my soul, as it seemed to be looking for something deeper.

"Hello son," the owl said softly.

My eyes opened as wide as they could in complete disbelief that an animal just spoke to me. There is no way that I understood that.

"Uhm, you're talking to me" I responded dumbfounded.

"Yes, Thomas. I'm speaking to you, we are the only two here. I've been waiting for you son", chuckled the owl.

Now I'm squinting at the owl. In my mind, it feels like I'm throwing questions against my skull. How do you know my name? Why were you waiting for me? Did you call me your Son? If nothing made sense before, it definitely doesn't now.

The owl then spoke again "I'm your mother." Rage overtook my body and sadness seized my heart. Imagine the conflict I felt in this moment. I haven't seen my mother for four years since her death. Then on the most random of occasions, I'm suddenly reunited with her as an owl.

As I sit myself up, the owl, I mean my mother begins to explain to me what's going on, " When I crossed over to what I thought would be the next life, I was asked what meant most to me in my past life. The first thing that came to mind, was you. I knew you were alone, I could feel the emptiness you felt in my soul. I never wanted to leave you because I knew society would expel a lonely child. You and I were all we had."

My rage suppressed itself and calmness took control over my body. Is this a dream I'm living right now? Is it really her? The voice, the tone, the sincerity in her concern, it all fits exactly who my mother is.

Mother continued "Your arrival here is not by accident. You are a castaway, along with other children spread throughout the forest. All of you were alone, with no family and a failed system of protection. Society deemed you guys as the unwanted and placed you here."

If only mother knew how difficult life was when she left me. I'd trade this moment for any day that I experienced in the last four years. It's an unexplainable feeling to be back in her presence, I feel safe again. My stomach growls, quickly reminding me of my hunger.

"Was that your stomach?", mother said.

I replied satirically, "Yes it is. You destroyed the berry that I was about to enjoy. Thank you very much."

"First, that a was poisonous elderberry, had you eaten that your stomach would've felt a million times worst than it does now. Remember I'm still your mother, I know. I'll take you to some food and water." When my mom snapped like that I was sure it was her, only my mother could put me in my place that quick.

Mother and I began our journey to find food. I couldn't stop thinking about how crazy it is that society threw me away as if I meant nothing. I didn't choose my situation, life happened. I was only ten trying to figure out how to feed myself, clean myself, and survive every day. I didn’t even know how to process the death of my mother.

I watched mother glide through the air gracefully as she led the way to the river bank. It reminded me of when she was human and how she captivated every room she stepped into. It's fitting that mother would become a majestic animal, she always carried herself with high dignity despite her shortcomings. Along the way, mother would instruct me on how to detect edible berries and other fruit in the forest. I took off my undershirt and repurposed it as a bag, to carry the various food I collected along the way.

When we arrived at the river bank I sprinted to the water to drink. It was beyond refreshing, it was everything I needed. Mother even joined in and got a few sips. I was finally feeling like myself again after receiving much-needed nutrition.

With water dripping from my mouth, mother turned to me and asked me “what was life like for me when she wasn’t there?” How do I even begin to explain the last four years. Four years of loneliness, lack of trust, and no love. There was even a moment in time when I was mad at my mother for not being there because I couldn’t understand what happen.

“It was nothing like when you were here Ma. I had to protect myself from everything and trust no one. People felt that because I was a kid I knew nothing and was easily gullible but the guard that I put up was the only thing keeping me grounded.”

I’m shaking as I’m telling her my old reality. In those times of no trust and no family, I ran from shelters constantly. I didn’t want to attach myself to anything, the only attachment I had was to my mom, who was no longer there. I didn’t even go to school, my instincts and survival skills became my teacher and parent.

I exploded with questions as tears burst from my eyes, “But why couldn’t you stop ma! When you put that bottle to your lips, did it feel better than when your lips would kiss my cheek? Did it make you feel more warm than the hugs I gave you? Was it more important than being my mother?” Never before have I raised my voice at my mother, but I have always asked myself why? I needed to know was it my fault, was I not good enough.

Mother tapped me with one of her wings and directed me to look into the water. I ran my wrist across my eyes to wipe away the tears so that I can see clearly. My mothers face begins to appear in the reflection of the water. I begin to see her mahogany toned skin, big curly hair, hazel brown eyes, and her pearly white teeth from her infectious smile. She looked exactly how I remember her to be.

Her reflection began to speak “wipe your eyes my sweet boy. What you think happened, what you’ve been told, isn’t what happened. Yes I was in a fatal car accident but I was not inebriated. That day I just received a certificate for being one year alcohol free from my group. I wanted to show you that so badly, so you could be proud of your momma. But months before your birthday I contacted your father for some financial help because it started to become hard to make ends meet.”

“Wait you contacted my father? I thought he was dea..” Mother stopped me before I could finish.

“I lied baby to protect you, your father isn’t dead. I just never wanted you to meet him because he never wanted to meet you. He didn’t deserve to be in your life. I told him about our situation and he disregarded me. The only thing I felt I could do was threaten him with child support. Taking my life was his way to get rid of that problem. Your father is a well known and respected man, who knew of my addiction to alcohol. They used that as a cover to blame me for my own death.”

My mind is blown. A calm steady fire is burning in me, like a controlled rage. A man that played a part in creating my life, destroyed my life. I can’t believe I had blame in my heart for my mother. She protected me to her very last moment. But what a shitty man my father was.

“Thomas I love you, and I wouldn’t have left you in this world alone. My greatest joy in the world was being your mother everyday. Nothing was sweeter than your kiss and more tender than your love.” She blew a soft kiss towards me.

Mothers beautiful reflection faded away as my hand reached out longing to feel the warmth of her skin. Me and momma sat there at the riverbank as the sun started descending to the horizon. Both of our hearts are heavy but relieved after getting some history about our past.

Mother return speaking from her small owl body, “Son I’m going take you to a place where you and I will never have to be separate from each other again. It’s a place that many children like you call home. I want you to experience the peace that a child should always have.”

I’m ready and excited to see what this place could be. After all that we both have been through I feel it’s time for us to be in a oasis, free of pain and sorrow. But how realistic was that for me? All my pain and sorrow was caused by this selfish man, who knew the affect of his decision. Not once has ever tried to find me after creating my lonely world and killing my mother. I want to be excited about this new home but I’m already planning to execute my revenge. However I know I must not let mother know. She’d worry but it must be done, for the sake of our pain.

We restarted our travel before the sun could set into darkness. There were so many animals running around. I thought to myself, were they as curious about me as I was about them? The leaves and plants were full of different colors, showing how alive the forest was. As unfortunate as this situation started, I got to see many beautiful things on this journey. However, as beautiful as the sights were I couldn’t stop thinking about the story of my mothers death. The controlled rage in me was being fueled by the feeling of revenge on my father.

Mother came down from her flight after ten minutes of travel. We stopped in front of large gates comprised of large bamboo. Owls were flying overhead high in the daytime sky, it was a remarkable sight to see. Mother screeched and the door to the gate dropped. I couldn’t believe how many children were behind the gate. There were so many children, of various colors and ages. I stood there, like a statue, finally feeling a sense of belonging in the world.

Mother's wing tapped my leg. I looked down at her as she began to speak gently, “My child welcome home, with the children of the forest. Many of the children you see here were left behind just like you, in this forest to figure it out on there own. But above you flying high in the sky is someone that loved them, and felt that it was a lifetime duty to protect their beloved child, and they brought them here.”

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. For a moment it all felt like a dream. In the middle of nowhere there was a small sanctuary for me to finally experience peace. This is the oasis.

"Thomas, you will always be my number one priority, my son, my love. I will always be here for you to guide you and protect you. All you have to do is look up and I'll be visible for you to see."

Tears engulfed my eyes, all I ever wanted was more time with my mother. She will forever be my guardian and I love her immensely for that. I begin to walk into my new world with the children of the forest but with a plan in mind. I’m not in the world scavenging for food, running from shelter to shelter, or simply trying to survive. I have time to think about how to fuel my rage but keep it tamed as I make friends in my new village. Making friends is essential to avenging my mothers death and I will avenge her death.