Dating: Do's & Don'ts
Dating: Do's & Don'ts

Cheating Men

by Sarah James 8 months ago in advice

I have experienced It! (In case you were wondering.)

Cheating Men

86 percent of men have been caught cheating according to statistics of 2018. 20 percent of those admitted to it. What about the other men who did not admit it, those who hide their sins so well there is not any evidence, or those who trick their wives or girlfriends into believing they are imagining it or going crazy?

Sure, there might be those few women who are over the top and believe every move their husband makes is suspicious—there are not many of these women. But most women who suspect something is going on have good reasons for thinking that. I'm pretty sure most of the time, they are right.

Ted Bundy was an infamous murderer, rapist, and necrophile of the 60s in America. He killed over 100 women, only admitted to 30 of them, but there was only evidence of two of the 100 women. I have a fascination with psychopaths, cults and others of this kind. (I will write another blog on this, so keep an eye out ;) )

Might I add, the proof did not even link to Ted himself, just proof of someone there. This is why he kept denying all his crimes, because there was no proof! Sound familiar, ladies?

Now I am not linking cheating men to Ted Bundy (Although some women need to watch out #DirtyJohn), I am telling you how easy it is to hide evidence. There will most likely not be much proof, or any at all with cheating men, the evidence you must follow is your gut.

Our instincts, our gut feelings, our subconscious picks up on so many things, and if only we followed it without second thought, imagine how different our lives would be...

The reason our guts get this feeling that our men are cheating is not only the random text messages, calls to the office at random hours, unable to get hold of him, or just distance, is because of how they treat us.

Roses on anniversaries, kisses, holding hands, sex at all hours of the morning, "I love you" texts, Valentine's presents, receiving birthday presents, and even opening the door. These are what we deserve. I mean we by everyone (not only women). Everyone deserves this shower of attention, it doesn't matter your gender. These are just things I know from women around me, as well as myself, whom would love this kind of attention, and don't get it.

Men are known to speak their minds, and act how they feel, even though they like avoiding emotions as this isn't the manly way. Next time they don't show or say they love you, believe them. Next time someone doesn't show they appreciate you, even if they say it a million times, believe them. Humans can't help but express themselves. It's proven in art. Gosh, even the cavemen started expressing their emotions by using different colour paints made from different flowers and berries. It's in our nature. So, believe them.

So, you don't get the above attention, you get a pang in your gut every time his phone beeps, and you feel separated in the same bed, start suspecting things. Things aren't right. You are not in a relationship or marriage then. Do yourself the favour. I'ts emotionally draining to be with someone, suspecting such disgusting behaviour and acts, and not doing anything about it.

I was in this situation. At first, I was completely blind, believing he wasn't that type, backing him up and trying to justify his actions. But, one day, I received a text from the very woman herself. She admitted to it all. We were drunk, we didn't know what we were doing, I thought woman to woman I would tell you. The cheek! Woman to Woman. Women don't do that. Girls, sure, but woman, naaahh. Remember, you can be 60 and still be a child. It's your mindset that makes you an adult, not your wrinkles.

Now you can disagree, I'm sure some will, but women who experienced the same or similar situations will understand.

So, I confronted him. He, of course, tried to lie and tell me I was crazy (They will try and make you seem crazy, like you are imagining it. The audacity!) He then realised I knew about it, and tried to cover up. Again I heard, we were drunk, it wasn't emotional, blah blah. He then burst into tears and apologised profusely, asking for forgiveness, reminding me of our great memories (Like he didn't ruin them already) and saying that common, "I understand if you don't want to date me." As you can imagine, I left. The building. I went home, sobbed my eyes out and spoke to my mom about it. She said two things that hurt me more than finding out about our destroyed relationship. 1. Men will be men. 2. Once a cheater, always a cheater: They never change. So if you go back, don't forget, they never change. Was it true? Were all men the same? Even those I thought were loyal and close to home?

Idiotically, I went back to him. I never should have now, but I again justified his actions and swore he'd change.

Ladies. He didn't.

We broke up due to excessive fighting, and my suspicions. I should have followed my gut in the beginning because I found out a few months later—He was sleeping with my close friend while we were seeing each other. The emotional pain I would have avoided, but no. I justified his actions. I got hurt. He moved on...

So ladies, sometimes men, if you have suspicions of your partner—for your heart, mindset, and body, do something. Confront him/her! Remember though:

They will deny it.

They will lie.

They will turn it on you, saying they felt the relationship was falling apart.

They will cry and ask for forgiveness.

And NEVER FORGET:

Men will be men,

and lastly,

Once a cheater, always a cheater, they will never change.

*Protect your hearts, dear flowers of the earth.*

Take charge!

Protect your happiness.

advice
Sarah James
Sarah James
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