Cheaters Will Always Be Cheaters

He was my first love and my first husband. I wasn't his first love nor his first wife. There was always something mysterious about him and that's what made me interested in him. I took the time to know him and fell deeply in love. I did EVERYTHING for him moneywise, beautywise, relationshipwise, etc. What I didn't know was what he did when he returned to work or home. He always called and met me everyday for hugs and kisses and the "I love you only's."

He took me to his church one day for a Thanksgiving celebration. I helped him fix his hair and clothes, made him look his best. I didn't know that I was actually preparing him for his mistress and myself for a setup.

He took my hand and walked over to her table. "There's someone I want you to meet." When we got there, he smiled at this one girl. She stood up and glared at me. He let go of my hand and held hers. Confused and lost, I asked him what this was about. He introduced us to each other, but referred to me as his friend and her as his girlfriend. They had been having an affair behind my back for a whole year and a half. What hurts was not that he cheated. It was the fact that he WANTED me to know he cheated. His last words that day to me was, "Does your heart hurt?" with a smirk.

People don't learn their lessons. We tolerate with the saying "Second chance is gold." And with first loves, it's hard to accept and understand the concept of letting go.

He came to my work place the next day for an apology. Waited outside my window on his knees until I would accept his apology. At 4 AM, I accepted it.

Time flew by, we got married.

I found his old phones he used. I turned them on and was surprised with all the text messages and phone calls he and his mistress had. It was more than he ever called or texted me and so much more love. There was another lady. His co-worker.

He still had the same job from back then with the same co-workers, which meant he was still cheating with his co-worker behind my back.

I confronted him and he smashed all the phones. I was heartbroken.

What I learned after marrying a cheater is that, they never stop. I don't just mean they never stop cheating in your relationship, but they never stop cheating your soul. You will go to sleep and dream only of their affairs. Reliving the moment over and over again. When they kiss you, your brain tells you, "This is how he kisses her." When he holds you, "This is how he holds her." Imagine what that feels like when you make love.

They cheat your life. You live in a lie that you are happy, because you have not learned how to let go. You hope they change someday and fix every broken piece they created. You work your behind off for your marriage or relationship. But to you, they will forever be a cheater in your eyes.

Don't marry a cheater. It is as though you are abandoned on a worthless island, blinded from reality and deaf from truth. Struggling underwater, but never breathing. Buried alive, but never dying.

A cheater will always be a cheater.