Chapter IV Sneak Peak: It's Not That Serious

Excerpt from Chapter IV of It’s Not That Serious

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Danny was tired of thinking so much and so hard. He was ready to go out with his best friend and listen to some meaningful poetry and lyrics from people with substance. Danny boy even did some writing of his own at times, but he was always too apprehensive to share this side of himself with the world. Not even his wela read any of his writing. This was a side of Danny that he had to keep for himself. Still, he loved watching other people express their pain, joy, anger, frustration, and peace, because it gave him a sense of purpose in the world. He felt like, when he listened to others perform their poetry or their music, it was his way of contributing to society in a healthy way. In his eyes, people who shared these talents with the world didn’t do it for themselves. They did it with the sole purpose of making others feel.

And that night of the open mic event, Danny sure did feel.

He met Fat Al at 8:30 pm in the café. They both “dapped” each other up and took a seat towards the back-left section of the audience, facing the stage. It was a full house at the café that night, filled with people of all shapes, sizes, ages and shades throughout New York City. Danny felt a sense of relief being there. As they took a seat, one young man was finishing up his series of spoken word poems and was receiving a ton of snaps and sophisticated cheering from the crowd. Just as Danny boy looked around to get a sense of what the audience looked like, he heard the MC for the night announce the next act. “Beautiful, people,” the Erykah Badu-resembling young woman said, “Give it up for that wonderful, talented young bruthaaaa. Wow…that was beautiful. You took my breath away. Black excellence at its finest. Thank you. Next up, we have a fan favorite coming to the stage. Those of you who come monthly to support us here know how special this woman truly is. She is a powerful spirit that even I wish I could emulate. Please, give some snaps for the lovely, the talented, the beautiful…Heaven on Earth.”

The crowd snapped, and some whistled for her as she came on stage. To Danny boy’s surprise (and certainly not Fat Al’s, given the fact that he knew Nevaeh would be there in the first place), Nevaeh graced herself across the stage and smiled brightly as she approached the mic. “Thank you, thank you,” she said in a tone of voice that Danny had never heard before. As she looked through the crowd, she made uncomfortable eye contact with Danny. She smiled still, however, and showed no level of anger or animosity towards him. He slowly smiled back, but while keeping eye contact with her, he leaned over to Al and whispered through his teeth, “You did this shit on purpose, mo…I know you did.”

“Bro,” Fat Al whispered back, “I had no idea she would be here. On God…you really think I care about this ho? C’mon now.”

(Danny never knew really why Al didn’t like Nevaeh too much. He never bothered to ask, anyway.) Nevaeh transferred her eye contact to someone else in the audience and began her performance. “I want to share two poems with you all tonight. The first one is called ‘Hearts of Every Spirit.’ I need to remind you all before I begin to please snap when you feel the words that move you.” She cleared her throat, and began with her poem:

"Hoes" cry, too, you know –

They shed crystal blue tears

More than your wine glass can catch,

Because they know more than anyone

What it feels like

To have their souls ripped from them by other bodies

Who left their own in the

Lost-and-found.

Hoes cry and laugh

When they feel happiness,

They fall in love with beautiful spirits who look into their eyes

And catch every emotion that

Changes over time.

They cry.

"Hoes" feel.

They know PAIN,

Loss,

Sorrow.

Hoes know how to step outside themselves

And peak in through the window

But they still choose to proceed with their hoe-ish ways

Because the feeling of a bloody blue climax

Seems to be more satisfying

Than the tranquil blue skies they sit beneath.

Hoes cry deep

Crystal

Blue

Tears

And they keep the heart of every spirit

They touch

And kiss

And love without even a slight fuck.

The crowd was silent for a brief moment. A young woman shouted from the crowd, “I love you, HEAVEN!” and the rest of the crowd began to snap. Some people even whistled. Fat Al leaned over to Danny boy and snickered, “This stupid broad…that poem was fuckin’ trash. How she gon’ write a whole poem about being a ho to try to make herself feel good? You know what they say: Ho's be like 'ho's be like,' but they be the hoes that be like!”

“I don’t know,” Danny replied, “But…I kinda liked it.”

Fat Al looked at him like he was crazy. He let out a little chuckle that he thought was silent enough, but Nevaeh caught it quickly with her ear. She turned her attention back to them both. Danny boy was looking down at his phone and swiping prospects on State of Mind while she continued. At this point, the app became almost like an incurable disease for him. It was a nervous tick that he subconsciously satisfied even without truly noticing what he was doing. Nevaeh continued. “This next one…I dedicate to someone I love dearly…someone who I let down. I think sometimes, ladies…we forget that we are capable of hurting a man the way men inevitably hurt us…I mean, snap if you feel me on this one…” She paused and heard the women in the crowd snap, while a couple of them replied “That’s right!” and “Mmmhm, child.” Nevaeh continued. This time, every word she said caught Danny’s attention. He put his phone in his pocket and looked up at her. They made eye contact again while she said, “This one is for anyone who knows what it’s like to feel someone with more than just your hands. It’s called ‘Senses.’ Enjoy.” Nevaeh kept eye contact with Danny the entire time while sharing this poem. They were in a trance, and Fat Al noticed. He hated it, for what ever reason. Maybe he was jealous of all the attention Danny boy would get from damn near every woman who he touched, both literally and figuratively. Al got up out of his seat quietly and walked over to the bar while Nevaeh recited the poem, locking eyes with Danny the entire time. And so it read:

Your presence has been so far from mine,

It has felt like hundreds of miles away,

But you’re here now.

And all I long for is your beautiful soul to encompass my own.

I want to begin with my

Sight.

I don’t want to just SEE you the way I do now,

Or when I close my eyes at night.

I want to look right into those gorgeous

Chestnut brown eyes in hopes that their

Corners slowly turn up

And your pupils grow wider while

I’m in your presence.

I want to look into the very depths of your inner being.

How I just long to look into your past to see the reasons behind

How you grew to be such a fearless

And damn near perfectly imperfect

Man.

I want to touch you.

But I don’t want to just run my hands down your never ending,

Smooth back.

With my eyes closed,

I want to feel every inch of your skin,

My fingers gliding against your Goosebumps,

the braille that will spell out for me everything

your soul desires…

and your body will begin to rapidly heat up and grow weak as I

press my lips against yours

and taste you.

This isn’t just a kiss I’m saying, though,

Or the way I press my lips up against your

Collarbone while you moan.

I don’t want to just taste and tug on your perfect lips

With my own

To satisfy my aching sweet tooth that I

Grow for you every time I see you smile.

I want to taste all of the pain and anguish you’ve ever felt.

I want to kiss every scar on your body,

Whether they are visible to my eye or not,

So I can heal your soul,

And grow to learn all of the different ways I can keep that

Gorgeous smile on your face.

And when I’ve finished

Looking at,

Touching,

Tasting

And smelling you,

I want to slowly drop my head against your chest and

Listen to the chambers of your heart create an astounding,

Steady rhythm,

As the blood in your body circulates, and your once raging

Hot body cools down.

And when I look up at you again…

Back to where I started,

I want you to remember

How much I missed consuming you

With all five of my senses,

As it’s something my dear heart has been longing to do

From the moment I first held you.

As the crowd immediately clapped and cheered for her, and Nevaeh said her “thank you’s” Danny clapped slowly and mouthed “Wow” to her. He could feel a slight tear come down his eye. (Danny boy was always an emotional man, no matter how "macho" his friends tried to keep him.) He knew this prose was for him. Nevaeh flashed a bright smile at Danny boy and nodded as she gently placed her right hand over her heart. She walked off the stage and carefully made her way over to where he was sitting. As she was finished with her set, the MC came back on stage and announced a brief intermission “mingling” opportunity before the next act came on.

Danny boy stayed seated as Nevaeh approached him. He wanted to open his arms up to embrace her, but something told him to keep his distance. Still, he smiled at the sight of her coming up close. He could never not smile around Nevaeh, no matter how much he couldn’t stand her at times. She was so beautiful in all the right (and wrong) ways that it made poor Danny boy sick at times. Not knowing what to say, Danny motioned for Nevaeh to take a seat next to him. He leaned over and told her, “I had no idea you could write like that, Buttah.”

Nevaeh laughed. “Yeah…Writing has always been my passion. Thank you. Did you enjoy it?”

“Yeah, I did…especially the second one.”

“Oh, did you?” They both shared a laugh. Nevaeh leaned over to give Danny boy a sweet kiss on the cheek. She touched his face gently after. Just as Danny was about to reply, he noticed a tall, slim, brown-skinned girl with a 90’s pixie cut and dark lipstick approach them. She looked serious and not amused at the visible chemistry Nevaeh and Danny shared. The woman put her hand on Nevaeh’s left shoulder, and asked her with an attitude, “Babe, who’s this?”

“Hey, baby,” Nevaeh replied. “Don’t worry, I was going to introduce you. This is my good friend, Danny.”

Danny jumped in. “Nice to meet…”

“Yeah, right,” the woman replied with a snicker. “Nevaeh, I’ll be waiting outside in the car. Let’s go, we got to pick up the kids before my mother steps out to work.”

“Yes, I’ll be out in a minute…Okay? Just give me a minute.”

The brown-skinned woman smiled and grabbed Nevaeh’s face as she kissed her on the lips. Danny could tell that smile from this mysterious new girlfriend was forced and used to intimidate him. She made her way to the café’s front door. Nevaeh dropped her head and didn’t look at Danny as he laughed and took a deep breath. “Wow…” he began, “So you eating coochie now?”

“Shut the fuck up, Danny,” Nevaeh replied and chuckled. “I’ve always been into girls, too, you know that. Amora is beautiful, bright, and strong. She loves the kids, too…I just thought it was time for me to give dick a break, it’s bought me nothing but trouble…Really, the only good thing men have done for me is that they inspire my writing...I mean, you caught that tonight first hand, didn’t you?” She winked.

“Whatever you say, mama,” Danny boy snickered. “What ever you say.”

“Look, Dee, I gotta go. Thanks for sticking around for my performance. I hope you enjoy the rest of the show.”

“Thanks.”

“Maybe we can catch up some time?”

Danny looked into Nevaeh’s sad eyes. He knew she wanted to be with him more than anything, but he just couldn’t do it. It also didn’t help that, of all times in her life, as a twenty-six year-old woman Nevaeh decided to start dating girls after they broke up. That was a huge blow to Danny’s excessively heterosexual ego. Does this mean I remind her of a chick? Am I too feminine? Was the sex not good enough?

“Nah…I don’t think that would be best right now. I’m sorry mama.”

“Okay, Daniel. I won’t argue with you…Have a good night.”

Nevaeh gave Danny boy another kiss on the cheek. As she walked away, she turned around and gave him the peace sign. He threw it back at her. Once she left the front door, Danny looked down at his phone and took a deep breath. Just as he was about to get up and join Fat Al at the bar, he received a notification on his phone. It was the State of Mind app. He swiped to see who his new match was, and he was praying that this time, she didn’t like girls.