Can OVERDATING RUIN Your Chances of Finding Love?

Dating “too much” might be the reason why you’re not finding real love.

Relationship experts are warning the public of the dangers of overdating and investing in multiple short-term flings and romances.

If you find yourself dating different women every week or day, it’s probably best to start asking yourself “What am I getting out of this and why am I doing it?”

Negative Effects of Dating “Too Much”

It’s a fast-paced world we’re living in. Meeting women is as easy as a swipe on our phone. Surely, there are disadvantages to it.

Well, there are pitfalls when you overdo it, some of which are as follows:

1. It gets exhausting.

You’ve probably heard of “feeling burnout” as a result of overworking. But did you know you can also mentally overexert yourself from dating too much?

It’s true! Feeling burnout is not exclusive to office workers and their nine to five desk jobs. It can also extend to over-swiping and over-scrolling through hundreds and thousands of pages of dating profiles online.

According to clinical psychologist Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia, you can get battle fatigue from dating.

In her words, “[People that go on so many dates] they feel fatigued, overwhelmed, and demoralized. The whole cycle of anticipation, hope, and disappointment when a date turns out to be lackluster is in itself quite fatiguing.”

What does it mean?

If you date too much, you’ll get to the point where dating isn’t fun anymore. There are no more magical moments and giddy feelings when going on first dates.

Eventually, you’ll barely put in any effort. You won’t bother showing your authentic self anymore, because what’s the point? Overdating can do this to a person.

2. You become insatiable.

You’re never satisfied anymore. It’s because you’ve met dozens of women throughout your dating career. You start to feel that someone better is still out there, so why settle now?

Overdating can make you set unrealistic and unreasonable standards that can’t be met.

Think about it, matching with a lot of beautiful women can boost any man’s ego. At some point, you’ll start to have a sense of entitlement.

You’ll never settle knowing that there’s still a lot of gorgeous women out there that want to date you.

It’s reasonable not to settle, but when and who will ever be enough?

What To Do

It’s easy to fall into the trap and get stuck in the trench of overdating.

We can’t deny it, meeting multiple women in a week who are interested in dating you sounds like a dream. However, once you start to see and feel the repercussions, you start to regret going on too many dates.

That being the case, if you need a change of pace, here are some pieces of advice:

1. Give yourself a break.

Have a detox. Stay clear and uninstall your dating apps for a while. Don’t worry about your current matches going to waste, they’ll still be there when you come back. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

Only when you feel like you’ve fully recharged yourself should you return to the world of dating.

Additional note: When you do go back online again, try to limit the amount of screentime you give to these apps. Set your maximum time for scrolling and swiping.

Remember to take breaks in between to avoid feeling burnout. Keep your emotional and mental health a priority.

Engrave this into your thoughts:

“Nothing is worth it if you’re destroying yourself in the process.”

2. Meet women the organic way.

Putting effort into building a real-life connection with someone outside of dating apps is still one of the most rewarding forms of dating.

Sure, going up to women in a bar or any public space can be intimidating, but when you hit it off with her right off the bat, it’s going to feel natural.

It will feel less forced and calculated like online dating since you'll get a real-life impression of her.

Solely using dating sites and apps to meet women is not ideal.

One of the main reasons is that it makes you create a false reality about the person behind the device. You’re romanticizing the idea of romance with someone who you aren’t even 100% sure is compatible with you outside the virtual world.

Look, we’re not discouraging the use of dating apps. It’s still one of the most effective and convenient ways of meeting someone. Just make sure you’re using them in a healthy and smart way.

However, for the sake of your well-being, you might want to alternate online dating with real-life dating, just for a change of pace.

3. Set your intentions clearly.

What are you really looking for in a partner?

Some might think it’s smart to first scan through prospective matches online to see who and what’s available. However, you’ll get much better results if you already know what you want before diving in.

It makes the process easier and you’re less likely to get burnout from dating.

When you go after what you want, you’ll feel more satisfied with your matches. Consequently, there are higher chances of building a connection with them during your date.

It won’t feel draining because you’re with someone you’re genuinely interested in getting to know. Your date becomes more enjoyable because you’re willing to engage.

In other words, you need to set achievable goals and realistic expectations when dating. Ask yourself why you’re doing it.

The correct answer should be that it’s because you want to find someone you can truly connect with and hopefully build a future with.

The Search for Love

We were taught to believe that we need to work hard to get what we want in life, that we need to pour all our heart and soul into everything we set ourselves to do (including our search for love).

However, dating and finding love don’t work that way. You can’t force emotions and compatibility.

The majority of the time, we find love through dumb luck and timing.

That being said, there’s really no need to hurry and date as many women as you can because the right one will eventually come your way. Hence, while dating, always pick “quality over quantity,” and not the other way around.