Can a Friendship Last Forever?

What does it mean to have a lifelong friend?

I have been wondering what it means to have a good lifelong friend for a while now. Is a good lifelong friend someone we rely on if things go wrong? Do they step in and make everything better? Can you have fun with them?

You may think so but a good lifelong friend is someone who has been there for you over the years. Someone who you have laughed with, gone on holidays with, had a girls' night with, had family gatherings with each other’s kids, who came to your parent’s funeral and helped you through it, and so on.

Can a lifelong friend last forever? I have asked myself this time and time again. I have had friends from school right up until I got married but they never stuck with me. They went off on another path without me. When I got married and started a new job, I met new friends who seemed to stick and who were in the same situation as me.

You never know when that lifelong friend will turn up. You may have babies at near enough the same time, who end up playing with your kids. That friend who you met at work and who you went out a lot with and who you went to each other’s houses with for play dates for your kids gets closer to you. Years pass by and she is still there. So lifelong friends can exist right up until the end.

What happens if a lifelong friend turns sour?

You may have a situation when that friend changes suddenly. For instance, she may start to have issues after retirement or during menopause. These things can happen but if it does, do we maintain the friendship and carry it on, or do we cut our losses?

What if she starts to argue with you for no reason? Does that mean she has a problem with you? We have to figure out what caused it because you are lifelong friends and you cannot throw away all those years.

Give them time to cool off before speaking to them again but do not leave it too long because you might not get an apology. So, what do you do? Do you make the first move without an apology? Perhaps, that lifelong friend doesn’t realize you are waiting for an apology. She might not realize she argued with you because she is suffering from something else. What if she has an illness that has turned her brain to mush? Do you make the first move to keep that lifelong friendship alive?

What if you don’t get an apology? I believe if you have been treated unfairly that an apology should be given but sometimes you might not get one. So, does that mean your lifelong friend has washed their hands of you, or do you make the first move? This is a hard one.

Sometimes if the friendship is worth keeping after all those years it should be maintained but it does depend on what’s happened. If one friend has made all the moves in the past to keep the friendship alive and the other one hasn’t then something could be wrong. So, perhaps, that friend who is waiting for an apology and has kept their friendship going for so long should continue to wait and see if that person comes back to her on her own accord. If this does not happen, then perhaps, that friend who you thought would be a lifelong friend has moved on away from you.

I believe, retirement changes you. For women, it’s getting older and getting menopause. Our brains might turn to mush. We need to start meditating or go to yoga. We need to keep going and keep our brains active according to an aunt I have who retired some years ago. She explained that at first, she was loving every minute of her retirement. After two years had passed things started to change. She got bored and felt down all the time which made her argue with lifelong friends that she never spoke to again. She got ill with breast cancer but she is now in the clear. Anything can happen after retirement.

So, does that mean our lifelong friends may end at retirement? It could be the case unless the other friend butts in and stops it from happening! Of course, that may never happen because of pride but I have friends that I will cherish until the day I die.

This article is also published on Medium.com