Butterflies

Why is it when he holds me close there is this undeniable feeling of desire? It is so intense! Yet it also feels so natural. It’s like I already know what it should feel like if we were to get it on right there and then.

I try my hardest to not let on that there is any such feeling because I wouldn’t want him to stop holding me. If anything I want him to hold me more. I want him to hold me tighter and to feel totally comfortable with me.

Kissing his lips gives me such a soothing feeling. It is like a Silent understanding without words. Two pairs of lips sealing in their emotions and teasing each other with their soft subtle texture.

Where was this going to go though? It would take a lot of courage for things to go any further as there was a lot at stake if things went wrong. Though I’m sure that as adults with a mutual respect we could always figure things out. Maybe there would be no bad reaction. Not now and not ever.

The constant thoughts were so distracting. Having a good imagination meant it was easy to get carried away. It was getting to the point where thinking about his hand touching mine and then him stroking up my arm; was starting to make me tingle inside. It felt so good in my imagination that I couldn’t switch it off and I was allowing it to distract me day and night.

So you can imagine that when I am standing in front of him, it is extremely hard to not just grab him and pin him up against the nearest wall. Not that I would want to be so forceful! I would want it to be like I imagine it to be; soft, gentle, teasing and orgasmic. His fingers and lips caressing every inch of my body. That alone would be orgasmic!

From the moment I laid eyes on him, my mind went crazy. Looking into his eyes, is what starts me off. He has a soul that seems so kind and gentle and loving. It is like a conscious connection between our souls has taken place.

The soul connection does not take in to consideration the rules and laws of life in general. It doesn’t look at age or physical being. It is about more than that. It is about the inner light, the inner goodness and spirit. Our truth and depth of our being does not change like our physical self. It remains the same. That is why we don’t really feel like we get old.

So it makes sense that this man has made me feel so alive and turnt on. He has reached to the core of me with the core of himself and every inch of my body wants to entwine with him.

Forbidden or not, mastubating over him is driving me crazy. I can’t just keep pleasing myself over and over again. Well I can, but I’d much rather we found a way to take things to the next level. It wouldn’t really be hard to just maybe feel each other and kiss each other intently. If I think about it as I say it, I get butterflies in my stomach. My body reacts just to the thought of it and when it stops I want to feel it again.

Maybe we could sit down together and do an energy share. Staring into each other’s eyes while placing the palm of our hands against each other and start sending each other our deepest love and desires. After a short while we will link fingers and then lock lips. The intensity will bring us together into a mutual frenzy of passion. Fully consensual adult relationships are ok so long as they stay within guidelines.

No one would be able to know. It would be a secret that follows us to our graves. Something pure and light and yet laced with the darkness of jealousy and judgement that people of late brought upon such relationships.

Freedom is something that may one day be allowed for all. Freedom to speak, feel and act how we wish, so long as it is not in a murderous way. Most people are scared of such freedom. They feel the need to be told how to do everything from; blowing their noses, washing their hands, sitting in an office chair and showing love. Puppets and slaves of the current life cycle.

Love is an unconditional feeling and soul connections should not be ignored. So as some people run and ignore incase others don’t agree, I long to embrace and feel in the way it should be.

My mind tries very hard at times to talk me out of it with logic. However, my feelings out do any thoughts and my natural desire for him takes over.