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Breaking up With Your Employer

by Ben Shelley 3 months ago in breakups
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Changing jobs is akin to being in a crash

Breaking up With Your Employer
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

A sudden shift in reality from which you wake up with a radically different position to adjust to. You have no time to think about it and must simply stumble forward into your new reality.

You hope that you will be able to adjust before your time is up and the plug is pulled. This is how changing jobs was described to me and whilst the analogy is a little extreme, I can associate with it.

Rose Tinted Glasses

Let us not beat around the bush. You are changing jobs because you are unhappy with something. Whether that is:

  • The money you are being paid
  • Those that you work with
  • The company’s decision to move to a new city…
  • …or the skid marks in the toilet.

You do not change jobs because everything was good. You move on to someone else because you are being provided with a chance to change your life and alter it for the best.

You may have racked up decades in a previous role (or relationship) but everyone has a line in the sand and yours has been crossed. You are no longer prepared to sit still and have a point to prove therefore, your notice has been handed in and your departure is set in stone.

It is something that is as exciting as it is terrifying. You suddenly lose all sense of confidence and wonder if you are doing the right thing. You wonder if you are reacting too harshly and remember the good times…much like a breakup.

Whenever I have been through a breakup, I have wondered if it was the right thing to do. I think that we all do, as we are human and as such, creatures of habit. We enjoy our routines and any shift in that can be alarming. There will be moments of nostalgia but if something feels wrong then you need to change.

Our instincts are hard wired and we should listen to them, as not doing so results in unhappiness.

We only have a set amount of time to achieve and seek out what it is that we are looking for and so whilst you will look back at times, you know that the feeling won’t last. You need to be brave. To believe in yourself, as if you do not believe in yourself then no one else will.


Believing in yourself is the single biggest reason why people stay where they are. That feeling of, ‘I know it isn’t the best, but what if I go somewhere worse?’ or ‘What if I fail and end up with nothing’?

These thoughts are human and we all come across those moments of not knowing. Wondering if we are where we should be. If there is more out there or is the life we are living the best one? It’s simply who we are as a species and the trick is knowing when it is imposter syndrome or short-term happiness.

Having faith in yourself is hard to teach, as I regularly have moments of uncertainty. Whether I am doing everything that I can to be the best version of me possible or if I am wasting my time and no one likes me. It’s insecurity but we all have these thoughts throughout our lives, the difference is that some of us are better at hiding it than others.

I can very easily be accused of wearing my heart on my sleeve. It is something that I am working on as it is something that can hold me back as people know exactly how I am feeling at times when they should not. The office is not the time for petty differences. It is the place for leaders to inspire us to work harder and achieve the objectives for which we have been set.

Faith is how we navigate the waters of life. By holding those that we care for close and not letting them go we can provide ourselves with release valves at times in which we want to scream at the world that envelopes us.

The workplace is set up to challenge us to test us at every corner and by maintaining confidence in who we are, we can navigate forward. We can inspire others and be the best version of ourselves possible. This is certainly one of my main goals moving forward.

A Final Thought

Looking for a new job and interviewing is akin to dating. You may go through hundreds of applications and interviews before you find the one, whilst others may settle for the first offer.

There is no set pattern to it and the same can be said when leaving a job. More than likely you will feel lost, focusing on the best parts of the last role, yet you must remember that everything has its time and we all need to forward in order to feel satisfied.

Life is a challenge. One that throws many things our way but it is a challenge that we can all not avoid. We can stay put for decades as feel that is best but in reality, that makes it harder on us as we will most likely be constantly frustrated. We will always wonder what we could have done, which will be haunting when we reach the grave.

Breaking up with your loved one is in many ways the same as what you feel when you leave a job. That rush of nostalgia and wonder as to whether or not you are doing the correct thing. You are and you need to believe in yourself, as we seek change in life for a reason. Something was wrong and now you have the chance to make things right and provide stability to your life.


About the author

Ben Shelley

Someone who has no idea about where their place is in this world, yet for the love of content, must continue writing.

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