Book Review: Alan Rickman’s Diary, Truly Madly Leaves Me Wondering

When you are raising three boys starting in 1994 through the present, the Harry Potter books and movies become a large part of your life. While we never attended the midnight book or movie releases that became a part of media culture in the later years of the series, we all read the books (including my husband and me) and viewed the movies many times over.

Severus Snape played by the talented Alan Rickman became a character that was both loved and hated by fans. Until his ultimate reason for the way he behaved towards Harry was revealed towards the end of the series, Rickman played a character that was not liked. He was sharp and nasty, demanding and unforgiving towards the students at Hogwarts. But he had a reason. And the reason, revealed in the stories, was also the reason he took on the role for the movies. This is discussed in his recently published diaries. Snape loved Lily, Harry’s mother, and that is the reason for his character’s behavior and also for Rickman agreeing to play the role of the Professor of the Dark Arts.

But for anyone who followed Rickman’s career or began following it after seeing him in the Harry Potter movie series, such as I did, he was so much more than Severus Snape. He knew it and so did all of us that were enamored of his talents.

Personally, I enjoyed him in Something the Lord Made, Galaxy Quest, and of course, the Die-Hard series of movies. When you watch Rickman, you know of his talent. There is no doubt he was a gifted actor. And when you read his recently published diaries, you realize he was a gifted person and that made him who he was — eccentric, demanding of excellence, kind, but also impatient and somewhat fragile.

The fragility was caused, in my opinion, by being “in his head” a lot. He was constantly analyzing if something should be said about a scene, who it should be said to (other actors or directors or producers), and how it should be said. His words often went unspoken, according to his diary, until they festered, which exhausted him and often caused him to retreat for a brief (too brief, as far as I’m concerned) respite.

The diaries are not what I had expected or hoped for. I wanted to learn something more about this man, an actor, who frankly, fascinated me.

Instead, you get brief entries — often just lists of names — of people he was meeting, shows he was considering, and places he was going. It seemed he was constantly on the go — logging miles across continents and oceans to reach the countries where his work took him and the one that provided some respite — Italy.

I found myself saying to him as I read, slow down, stop — enjoy your life. Rest on your laurels for a while. But while he was surrounded by varying degrees of talent (he knew it), and did turn down some opportunities, he often regretted (it seemed) taking on many of the ones he did. His relief when shows were over was palpable at times while reading the book.

I felt for him. While he had a privileged life, he also worked hard, traveled a lot, put in long hours, and always seemed to have time for his friends and Rima Horton — his long-time partner, who became his wife in 2012. She seemed to be his rock — a steady, reliable person, who was always there when he needed her. That is to be envied, for sure.

It’s clear, as you get to the end of the book, that Rickman wanted more downtime and more time to enjoy life, but he didn’t know quite how to get there. You really do not learn much about him from the diaries. Maybe those he was closest to wanted it that way. For me, reading his entries just confirmed what I already knew — this was a gifted individual. And giftedness often comes with high self-demands and routine impatience for others as well as for inefficient situations and mediocre results. He reported regular trouble with sleeping and knew he should eat and drink in a healthier manner. But life on the go is hard. It certainly did not leave me envying him or other actors in any way.

I hope he was happy. I think he was at times. He seemed to revel in good music, good friends, and good meals. He traveled a lot. He was in demand. He was a success. But, specifics about his life are missing from this book.

I’ll be honest and tell you it was hard to finish. But I’m glad I did. The end chapters, one that shares his early diary entries before 1994 (he knows who he is early on) and one written by Rima Horton about Alan’s death reveals more than the many hundreds of pages before. Stick it out if you can.

I’ll continue to enjoy his talents through the work he left behind. He is and will continue to be missed. In my opinion, a rare talented person has left the world a lesser place.

This book review was published by me, Carol Labuzzetta, with the same title on Medium.com on November 3o, 2022.