People don't always say what they mean... either they say what they think we want to hear or they create a facade to make themselves look like they're something they're not. All these fronts and disguises just makes it that much harder to really get to know someone, especially someone who you may want to potentially get into a relationship with. Ladies, how many times have you been with someone you thought was perfect, and then six months down the line you ask yourself what crack you were smoking to make that kind of a decision? And let me tell you, your crack habits are completely irrelevant at this point. It has nothing to do with you at all. The guy's mask just comes off and you see someone completely different, someone you don't even recognize... You see the person behind the mask.
You've invested your time and your emotion into an illusion, and you've done so too many times to count. This is why so many of us have trust issues, commitment issues, and issue issues... We've been burned and now we are afraid of fire. To save yourself from any more third degree burns, I have devised the following dating app hacks to help you bypass some of the bs you will come across while swiping. What men say in their profiles vs what really is...
1. "No hook-ups, looking for a serious relationship."
He is looking for a hook-up, one night stand, or long-term fuck buddy, but he obviously isn't going to say so because he's a selfish jerk and doesn't think he can get a girl by being honest. Bottom line is, he has no game and knows it. Swipe left, sweetheart. You don't need a relationship or a one night stand with this loser.
2. "Bi-coastal, divide my time between here and there."
He is most likely married with children (there) and must travel a lot for work, probably gets lonely, and decides to look for a side girl via dating app for when he's traveling (here). In his mind, it's genius. The wife thinks he's working when he's here (with you) and he will just tell you he's working when he goes back to his family.
You're probably thinking, "No way. How in the world would he get away with that... Not with me. I'm way too smart for that, and besides he can only keep it going for so long. It's only a matter of time before the truth surfaces." And you are probably 100 percent correct, but at the end of the day it still takes time — time you will lose and never get back. Not to mention feelings will develop, feelings that will get in the way of seeing the truth even when it does decide to surface. So the matter of time becomes just another matter of time, and he keeps it going longer than "so long." After all, it's not like he has something to lose. In the end, you come out of this dead-end relationship bitter, angry, heartbroken and old, and even if you did learn something from it, who cares? Ain't nobody got time for that!
3. "Just got out of a relationship, not looking for anything serious."
Definition 1: "In an unhealthy, going-nowhere relationship with someone not right for me for the past five years. I've gotten comfortable and although I'm miserable in my current relationship, I don't have the balls or courage to walk away and start something new with someone that could actually be right for me. So every now and then, I make a dating app profile to see what's out there."
Definition 2: "Just got out of relationship and by 'just,' I mean yesterday. On the rebound hoping to find someone to babysit and entertain me until my ego has been nursed back to health, at which point I'm off to bigger and better things or back to my ex."
4. "Happy with the simple things in life."
He is basically saying he's broke and works a dead end job with little or no possibility for advancement and he's accepted his financial fate. Who needs fancy dinners when you can eat love for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Someone should probably tell him that he may want to reconsider dating if he's happy with the simple things in life, because last I checked dating ain't simple... and dating in LA... gives complicated a whole new meaning.