Betrayal and Heartbreak

I'm not gon' cry by Mary J. Blige from the Movie "Waiting to Exhale" changed my entire outlook on relationships with men. It taught me what to look for in a real man. For you see, I lived this song for Eleven years in a marriage with my son's father. I put everything I had into our relationship only to find out in the end that I was never nothing more than a means to an end for him. I built him up for him to leave me for someone else. The song goes like this: For all the time that I was loving you, you were busy loving yourself. I would stop breathing if you told me to,now you're busy loving someone else. Eleven years out of my life, besides the kids I have nothing to show, wasted the years out of my life, I should have left your ass a long time ago. I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gonna shed no tears, no i'm not gon' cry, cause your not worth my tears. I was your lover and your secretary, working everyday of the week, was that the job when no one else was there, helping you get on your feet. Eleven years of sacrifice, and you can leave me at the drop of a dime, swallowed my fears, stood by your side, I should have left yo ass a thousand times. No i'm not gon' cry, i'm not gon' cry, i'm not gonna shed no tears, no i'm not gon' cry, cause you're not worth my tears. I know there are no guarantees, in love you take your chances, but some how it seems unfair to me, look at the circumstances, in sickness and health, till death do us part, those were the words that we spoke from our hearts, and now when you say that you're leaving me, I don't get that part. Every time I heard this song it was a reminder of the sacrifice I had made in the name of love for a man who did not even value it. It became a cautionary tale in my life about men for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I never gave up on love or men, I just took more care in who I gave my heart to and what signs to look for in a man. Life can be very cruel to us all sometimes, but by never giving up, you will one day rise above all the betrayals and heartbreaks and find your true love. I know because I am presently married to a man who loves me genuinely and is striving for the betterment of us both. Now, when I hear that song I smile because even though I went through heartbreak and betrayal in the beginning, I never gave up and my ending is truly a happy ever after.

Mrs. Tony M. Dorsey-Wheeler