Berkeley Chick

Berkeley Chick

“Da-yum!” Shouted Kev. “Do you see her?!”

“Who?” questioned Todd.

“That sexy thang sitting in the corner of the restaurant!” Kev responds.

“Oh yeah, she’s hot” Todd acknowledged.

“Hot? She’s Fire!” Kev exclaims.

Todd, “I can’t give her fire while just seeing her face.”

Kev, “Oh, I saw that body when she entered the spot with rhythm and grace!”

Todd, “But you don’t know about the intellect…she may not be the smartest.”

Kev responds sarcastically, “Like you’re the smartest!”

Todd, “Shut the hell up!”

They both have a big laugh.

Kev continues, “She can Google stuff like the rest of the world.”

Todd, “One problem though. She’ with her man.”

Kev, “Correction. She’s with a man. That could be her brother, cousin, gay best friend from high school. That may be her Mr. Right Now and not her Mr. Right. I’m gonna step in and clear the confusion.”

Todd, “Where are you going?”

Kev, already in stride. “I am going to introduce myself.”

Todd, “She’s with her man!”

Kev dismisses Todd’s warning and continues to the couple’s table. As Kev almost reaches the table he loudly and energetically greets the young man.

Kev, “What’s up Dawg!?”

The man stands up to meet Kev, thinking that he is an old friend that he wasn’t quickly recognizing.

“What’s up Dawg?” Kev continues, “What are you doing out this way?”

Before “Dawg” could speak Kev glances at the woman and asks, “Is this your cute sister that you use to brag about?”

He puts his hands out to introduce himself to the beautiful mystery woman, but she ignores him.

Dawg, “Where do I know you from?”

“Berkeley!” Kev exclaims. “You used to throw those wild and sexy Greek parties with those crazy Berkeley chicks. And I love those crazy Berkeley chicks!”

Dawg, “I never went to Berkeley…I attended S.C.!”

Kev, “Sorry about that…what happened? Low SAT scores?”

Dawg, “Partna, I am tired of playin’ with you. Get out of my face or we are going to have some real problems.”

Kev, “No need to get violent. False identification. My bad…FYI, the shrimp and grits are dangerously addictive.”

Todd laughs, “Now that was embarrassing and a waste of time.”

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit…she squeezed my ass!”

Todd, “What!?”

Kev explains, “When I was walking away, she squeezed my ass.”

Todd, “Your imagination is on another level.”

Kev looks down at his phone and tries to whisper to Todd, “Todd, she just air dropped me a picture of her posing in purple lingerie with the hashtag crazyberkeleychick!”

Todd, “Quit lying!”

Kev flashes the phone in front of Todd’s face just long enough for Todd to get a glance.

Todd, “What the…”

“Wait! I have another message” Kev teased. “It looks like I have a little rendezvous scheduled around midnight…location details to follow.”

Todd, “Mind blown!”

Later that evening Kev receives a text from the Berkeley Chick, “Meet me on the roof of the Red Coffee warehouse by the pier.” The warehouse is just a few blocks away from his location, so he walks there quickly. When he reaches the roof, he sees the silhouettes of two adults standing near the edge.

As Kev approaches, he hears that the two people are in a fierce argument. He is shocked to see the Berkeley chick stripped down to her purple lingerie standing in front of Dawg from the restaurant.

Dawg notices Kev in his peripheral vision and shouts, “Yo! What are you doing here!?”

Kev, “I’m asking myself the same question.”

“I see you still have jokes.” Dawg points a gun at Kev. “What are your intentions?!”

“Whoa, you need to chill! I can leave!” Kev squeaks as he starts to back pedal.

BC, “Don’t go!”

Kev, “I don’t want to be part any kinky love triangle!”

Dawg, “This has nothing to do with any love.” He looks back at BC, “Where’s my shit!”

BC, “Well honey, I’m going to need to get that cash first.”

Dawg, “I have the money right here. You just need to give me the black notebook.”

“I don’t have the notebook.” BC claims.

“Wait! All this drama is over a notebook?” Kev is beyond frustrated now.

The mystery “couple’” both ignores Kev.

Dawg, “When I contacted you, you were a fragile widow at the point of a mental break down. I made you an offer that could change your life and now you want to play.”

BC, “You see me. I’m stripped down to my lingerie. I don’t have the notebook.”

Dawg, “But you showed it to me when we first met at the restaurant. Quit playing games.”

BC, “You are the one that is playing games. I kept thinking to myself, “Why would this stranger offer to pay me $100,000 for a notebook filled with love notes from my dead husband?”

“$100,000 for a notebook!? Dawg, I can get you a notebook for $20 filled with poems from Tupac and Biggie!”

Dawg points his gun at Kev’s head and asks him a powerful question, “Would you like to join Tupac and Biggie?”

Kev became dead silent.

Dawg turns is attention back onto the Berkeley Chick. “Give me the notebook. We agreed on the price of $100,000 and I am losing my patience.”

BC repeats herself, “Why would a stranger offer to pay me $100,000 for a small black notebook? I was intrigued, so I started to read the notebook one more time at the restaurant before you arrived. But still didn’t find anything in the notebook that would be enduring to anyone except me. You arrived and I was prepared to give you the notebook.”

Dawg screamed, “So give me the damn notebook! Notebooks don’t disappear. I have been with you all evening. If you had the notebook then you have the notebook now!” Dawg is as distressed as a rabid dog.

Dawg, “I am tired of this BS! I’m about to shoot you in the head and retrack our steps.”

A streak of courage strikes Kev like lightning. He rushes Dawg and slams him to the floor before Dawg is able to aim his gun. They wrestle hard. Punching and kneeing and elbowing each other. Two gunshots fire! But no one is hit. Finally, the gun is dropped by Dawg.

The Berkeley Chick snatches the gun and shouts, “Enough! I will give you the notebook. Stop the fighting.”

As soon as the two men separate, the Berkeley Chick shoots Dawg in the heart. He dies instantly. Kev gets up scared, confused, not knowing what to expect from this woman. She runs to him and pulls herself close to him and delivers a passionate French kiss. Kev is stunned and terrified at the same moment.

BC stopped kissing Kev to take a breath and exclaimed, “I was attracted to you the first time that I laid my eyes on you.”

Kev starts to speak.

“Shhh” whispers BC, “Let the passion flow.”

“But…”

BC squeezes Kev’s ass and pulls away. “You killed the vibe.”

Kev sees something in the woman’s hand, “Wait! Is that the notebook?”

“Yes, I put it in your back pocket when I squeezed your ass at the restaurant. You came to rescue me just in time. We are going to have a beautiful life together.”

Kev is perplexed, “We? Rescue?”

BC, “Can’t you see that we are destined? When you made that commotion back at the restaurant, water spilled on the pages of the notebook and illuminated science formulas that were hidden beneath the love notes. My husband was a college professor working on scientific innovations that many intellectuals believe could change the world.”

She pauses, “I would be a fool to sell something for $100,000 that could be worth $100,000,000 or more…but that discovery is for another day. Let’s take our money and begin to enjoy our new life.”

Kev, “As gorgeous as you are, I don’t want no part of this madness.”

BC, “Didn’t you feel the fire between us?”

Kev hesitates, “I can’t explain what I feel right now.”

BC, “What a disappointment. Your loss. Here’s your share of the money.”

Kev, “I don’t want that money!”

BC grabs a couple stacks of bills and throws them at Kev. “Here’s $20,000 finders fee. Well, in this case, discovery fee.

Kev, “Don’t you have any remorse? There’s a dead man laying right there! What about your husband’s legacy?”

“That dead man tried to take advantage of me. If he had the opportunity, he would have killed us.” BC starts to walk and is slowly disappearing into the dark, “My husband was a sorry excuse for a man. Those “love notes” were written as apologies for all of his indiscretions. He had an insatiable appetite for romancing new women. He was a cheat. And the truth is…that’s why I killed him.”