Being LGBTQ+

by Jeff the Queen about a year ago in lgbtq

It's not as easy as it looks...

Being LGBTQ+

So I'm bisexual, which means I like both guys and girls. I live in a Christian household and I'm closeted. My name is Ciara and this is my story.

When I First Figured It Out

Since I was raised in a closed minded Christian household I was homophobic till middle school believing that I was straight and that if you were anything but straight you were wrong. It was in the seventh grade I believe when my best friend Raven told me that she liked me after I declared to her how straight I was (awkward). Somehow her telling me that kinda lit a spark because I was thinking, "could I date her?" I did like her and thought she was pretty. After that I kinda had a rough patch with my family and kinda set those thoughts aside to the back burner. Then came my freshmen year of high school and that year I realized I was bisexual and came out to a couple of my friends and basically everyone at school. I told my dad's ex-girlfriend as well. My mom currently thinks that I am gay and points out the gay pride shirts at Spencer's telling me "look it's for you" and waves it around for everyone to see. My dad thinks I'm bisexual but goes on homophobic rants that scare me to come out. I don't think I'll come out for a while but last month I told my youth minister and he took it very well. My church doesn't really judge that harshly against gays. I've never really been called "faggot" or anything. Most people support me but I have a few friends who aren't as lucky. Till this day I fully support LGBTQ. I have friends all over the spectrum. I have the basic short hair cut and I wear snapback but I don't really like stereotypes. I still have trouble accepting that I'm bisexual but I will never not own it proudly. One day I'll come out to my family and maybe they'll disown me but maybe they won't. What I'm worried about is accepting/putting up with. There is a difference. I would rather have someone accept who I am rather than just put up with it. I accept that I'm bisexual and I hope others do as well. It's really easy to put on a mask and a show for others but you can't keep playing the same show forever, it must end. Being LGBTQ can be very easy for some and life threatening for others. I don't understand and will never understand why killing someone for their sexuality exists because it shouldn't. I'm proud to stand up for what I believe in and I'm proud to say that I'm bisexual because that's who I am and I refuse to be anyone else but myself. What's wrong with me liking girls? The answer should be nothing but for some it's not. Another thing is just because I'm with a man or a woman doesn't make me not bisexual. If I'm with a man, I'm bisexual and if I'm with a woman, I'm bisexual. I'm not half-gay half-straight, I'm bisexual. My sexuality is bisexual and I don't put up with anything less. I hope that if you're reading this and you're LGBTQ+, this somehow does something positive for you because I don't know you but I support you 100 percent. Never change for anyone, they aren't worth it, trust me.

My name is Ciara and this is my truth.

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Jeff the Queen

I'm really just bored. 

See all posts by Jeff the Queen