Being Gay in a Small Rural Town

Hey everyone. Welcome to country life, where 99% of the population is conservative and Republican. At the same time, you're the only gay in the village. Mad props if you got the Little Britain reference. The population is usually under a thousand, maybe a little more, and there are no traffic lights, and only half the streets are paved. Don't forget you have to walk a mile in the snow to get to your damn mailbox. Some things maybe a little exaggerated, but for some folks, being queer in a rural town is actually a lot different than it is for anyone else.

Everyone's experience is different from others. However, a lot of things can be pretty much the same. Whether you grow up gay in a small town or you and your partner move to a small town, being out and proud comes with some challenges.

Like many small towns, there will be some political and religious ideologies that will go hand-in-hand. Don't get me wrong, there are many Christians who are very liberal-minded, but things are different in a rural town. The chances of you seeing a political statement dealing with liberalism compared to the number of Trump flags still flying will be a huge difference.

Walking my dogs with my partner around town can be a little tense at times. This is especially true if your neighbors are outside and they want to talk about your dog. I mean, it's understandable as my dogs are pretty, like me. So you have to stop and talk to them. While no one is psychic, it's pretty obvious they know. How could they not? Me and my partner to walk around town a lot with our dogs. At some point, everyone pretty much knows that we're not brothers, and we're more than just good friends.

On the plus side, no one has given us looks of judgment, but they haven't asked either. So far, that's one thing I've been able to count on is when you live in a small town, there is a good chance that there's going to be a live-and-let-live mentality.

However, that's not always the case. No matter where you go, there will be some haters. Still, unfortunately in a rural community, there's going to be many more of them. Especially when where we live starts mixing with their politics. While I don't live in fear, this past election has made me a little apprehensive while walking around town. Nothing ever happened, but it still kind of works on your nerves at times. Usually, it's when I'm walking down the street, and every house on each side of the road has more than one Trump flag flying and crosses decorating their doors.

While my experience, for the most part, is reasonably positive, there are a few people that I've chosen to keep my distance from around town. When you live in a small town, you recognize certain red flags or even red hats a lot quicker than you would in a more urban environment. I guess when it comes to being queer in a small town, there's a more substantial chance of you being discriminated against for who you are.

Don't get me wrong, living in a small town is great. It's quiet, and I can have my dogs. I can jog from one end of the town to another at 3 am, and I don't have to worry about anything. I may see a coyote or fox, but usually, it's a redneck with a lifted truck speeding through town. For others, it may be different. Especially if you're a small-town kid that happens to be queer, then it's going to be considerably harder on you.

Part of this blog post came about from last two stories that are written and soon to be published. One is about two gay cowboys finding love in a small town, and the other is how a military veteran finds the love of his life in a small town. It got me thinking about what it means for others who are queer living in a rural area far away from any big city.

For me, the biggest city is literally like a 20-minute drive away. It would not be the end of the world for me if I needed to go into town. Some small cities are literally a three-hour drive from the nearest Walmart, and that distance can make life quite miserable for someone who's queer.

Anyway, thanks for reading a lot of my nonsense at the moment, because I didn't have a whole lot of my thoughts together. I ask you to keep in mind that no matter what community you find yourself in, the LGBTQ + community will be there. In some areas, we may not be out and proud as much as our big city siblings, but we do what we can to be who we are in the environment we find ourselves in.

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