Bee 🐝 Transparent

As Spring approached in Ohio, our family was more than ready to dust off the zero gravity chairs and get sunshine on our pale almost anemic appearing skin. The pandemic and more than forty days straight with no sunshine, had us lacking in more than Vitamin D. We wanted fresh air, our chairs and our deck, understanding that green earth would come as the seasonal change progressed. Slowly a few days here, then a few days there, the sun gradually came. Glorious!!! The birds started singing and congregating earlier as the sun rose earlier and the temperatures warmed. Perfect I thought. I’d drop down into my chair, throwing my head back, toes wriggling in the warm air and balancing myself just so- lock my zero gravity into place for optimal sun exposure and be all set to go . My daughter not long behind me would do the same with dogs in tow. We’d monitor the dogs in the yard balancing from our chairs, as they’d watch clouds drift, smell their favorite spots and laze around. Ry our youngest and most amorous loved to rip and tear about the yard at top speed then skid to a stop just before crashing into the chairs on the deck, tongue hanging out, spittle flying while spattering the hot wood drying almost as soon as it sizzled there in that midday heat.

She loved running circles around the elder dogs until they had enough of her nonsense and came up out of the yard panting heavily, hanging onto those stairs in desperation, exasperated that she mowed them down once again as they lay gazing. Ry expected hugs from all family and visitors frequently without exception. She has no boundaries and is a one of a kind dog who stands on her hind legs wraps her paws around you for hugs and barks in excitement when she gets them. She is pure love. She made the days more interesting for all of us being happy all the time. The days were heavenly. Fun. Easy.

Then came the day we discovered that he came. Harold we called him. Just one lone bee. He changed all of it. Not at first. He just fit into our vibe initially. Or so we thought. Later on we assumed he must have been scouting for his swarm. Friendly he was. Also no boundaries, much like Ry. Shiny black lower body, and so refined and elegant in his ways. Like dancing in the air, so rhythmically. Harold seemed almost cartoon like. Certainly he couldn’t be a real Bee. He had two small white spots on his face on the outer edge of his eyes and just floated in out of nowhere when he appeared. He hung around me mainly, and seemed to just “like” me. He’d fly around my chair just above me or stay in front of my face in mid air looking into my eyes as if to make direct eye contact with me like he wanted conversation. Like a soul connection. He just stayed there suspended and stared at me. It seemed as if all time and motion stopped. I was mesmerized by the interactions and started to Google why this Bee took an interest in me. This bee was committed if nothing else because he did this over and over again. We laughed about it. He was there every morning, just waiting above my chair. I thought, this has to “bee”, good karma. That’s it I’m sure...Harold must be a bee of ABUNDANCE. We decided to protect Harold and let him hang around because we determined it was A: good Karma. And B: would bring ABUNDANCE. So Ry was told to leave Harold alone and we made sure Harold felt at home. God Save the BEES 🐝!!!

Two bees or not two bees?!?

A few weeks stretched on and Harold continued his attraction to me. There was never a day that the sun was out that Harold wasn’t there from early in the morning until the sun set. I had gotten wrapped up in some things so Harold started to follow my daughter a little. I said “Harold is two timing me” jokingly. But he stayed on the patio nonetheless, and maintained that contact with my daughter or I when we were outside.

We started to notice a second Bee that Harold appeared to be fighting with in the air. When he approached us Harold would dive bomb him, and get pretty aggressive attach him violently knocking him away from the deck. They’d both leave temporarily but they’d come back very quickly and they would start fighting again. The second bee had one thing that notably bothered us...He always came up on us, with his legs extended. A lot. It was creepy. We called him Crazy legs. It seemed like he was trying to touch us, and that made it creepier. So I googled what was going on. Whatever page I clicked it was not about ABUNDANCE this time, but was about bad JuJu!! I said oh gawd these bees are liking our smell or something and they must be stalking us. We have to figure out what to do. This could get WORSE!!! We could attract more that want to touch us. Of course we thought that Harold was an abundance angel I was all ready for him to land on my hand, wouldn’t let RyRy snap at him or spray them with harmful toxic chemicals. But that had all changed. OMFG. All I could think was...What have I welcomed into our lives?!? What kinda freaks are these bees? Why all the sudden do I smell good to bees?!? What am I dying here?!? Holy crap!!!

She Loves Bees, She Loves Bees Not

So the saga continued from the lovely focal point of a children’s book (Harold and the incredible bee swarm so warm and fuzzy) to the filthy hair raising thoughts of a truck stop toilet (filthy dirty hairy perverted stalkers wanting to touch us). Our patio pests had gotten more family press than what was normally warranted. So a new Google search was certainly warranted. A new site said they were in fact the beeringers of abundance. (Whew). I can’t pretend to say by this time my head was certainly clouded, but I chose to believe that over, my suspicions of Crazy Legs being the perverse pest that I felt he was, rolling in low under my visor slowly intertwining those legs licking those antennas and rubbing them together while swaying slowly buzzing in front of me like I was some large gelatinous pile of honey. I wasn’t going there. So I scrubbed all those thoughts. (Record scratching sound for effect).

That’s when Hot Shot, the aerialist showed up. He was smaller, quicker, really annoying energy, flying in hot and fast zipping in so quick he was bouncing off your chair and deck parts like a pin ball outta control until RyRy wanted to bite his head off. He’d made the Baby- the most lovable member of the family angry and snap. He’d zip under my visor, which was normally off limits. Come right up on your face, almost touch you and zip away. He therefore changed everything.

This was now a pest issue FOR REAL. As I looked around there was one thing clear. These bees had been really good at distracting us from something. I was going to find out what they were up to because the only abundance I had was in bees. Looking around, I noticed that Harold, Crazy Legs and Hot Shot- weren’t the only ones. We were looking at the eye of the swarm.

I Am the Only Queen Bee Here

Looking around the deck I saw multiple bumble bees, or that’s what I thought they were. I never could figure out why so many large bees were around. You usually didn’t see that many bumble bees. So I pulled out the bench and I see two little holes in the deck wood. They were perfectly drilled 1/2 inch holes. I looked down and there sat sawdust. In one hole was a bee almost completely embedded in a hole. Definitely engrossed. Gnawing wood like nothing I’ve ever seen. So I thought, these are not your average bees. And of course ... I Googled it. Shiny tail, eats wood, they lay their eggs in the wood and the males have white dots by their eyes!!! Holy cow, I was being charmed by bees while they were eating through our deck. Imagine the intelligence of that species, or maybe the stupidity of mine? Either way I don’t want to kill bees because these still pollinate so I also looked up a natural way to rid myself of Harold, Crazy Legs, Hot Shot and their swarm. Lavender oil, Citrus oil or Eucalyptus oil. Spray it and put it in the holes they drilled then plug them. They were not happy by the way but I did it Au natural. And there were more bees then I even knew that had planned on calling this home. They kept coming back time after time, but stopped drilling the deck. Thank goodness we finally caught on to these bee charmers when we finally did or the dogs and us wouldn’t have had access to the patio as a result. From now on, I’ll just stick to gratitude prayers for abundance and mind my own beeswax.