Bedroom Eyes

Him smiling is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Even when I just catch a glimpse of it, it’s the highest I've ever felt. The nervousness and excitement I experience when I’m around him is something I have never experienced before. His eyes are a delicate golden-brown but are strong enough to pierce right through your heart causing it to palpitate. His mesmerizing eyes can influence you into doing things you wouldn’t normally do. He either looks at you through a child’s eye, or through the eyes of a deprived man who is starving for affection and intimacy; he’s hungry for flesh.

He has bedroom eyes that when our seductive glares meet, the passion that festers within the soul is almost intolerable. His eyes are composed of worlds we have no knowledge of and are so powerful that it’s important to remain aware and in control, but sometimes that seems to be impossible.

It’s not just his eyes that have captivated me. His soothing but stern voice is the perfect amount of deep and raspy, and when he calls my name I hear no other sound. I yearn to hear him call my name over and over again. If only I could record him pronouncing my name and burn it onto a record. If I could, I’d allow the record to play from sunrise to sundown.

When we’re making love, his intoxicating voice sends me into a euphoric state of mind that is unbearably intense and sinfully pleasurable. But it’s not just his eyes or his voice. The way his hands rest at his side, crossed, or wrapped around a glass is seducing. He has the most gentle touch I have ever felt, but also the roughest and strongest hands I’ve ever held onto. The wrinkles in his hands are the streams that lead to the roaring rivers in his forearms in which flow into the calm oceans of his heart. There is no chaos within this man. He is peaceful and gracious.

He is charismatic and influential. He is easily liked and adored. He will never know my deepest and truest feelings towards him because without a doubt it would be too much for him to handle. I love him with all that I am, and it’s a terrifying reality. Several times already I have wanted to run away just as I always do because he has the capability of ruining the little parts of me I have left. Losing him would turn into me losing myself, if I haven’t lost myself already. I do not have much to offer, but any piece of me I desperately hold onto, I am willing to give over to him so it’ll be solely within his possession indefinitely.

My heart is not necessarily desired. My heart isn’t a peaceful and soothing heart. My heart does not thump rhythmically as it should. There is no normality to it. My heart has irregular beats and is wounded; I’m bleeding continuously. Even though my heart is almost at it’s last contraction, I yearn for him more than the air I breathe. Thoughts of him circulate throughout my traumatized mind and those thoughts never vanish; not even for a second.

Even if he doesn’t feel the same emotions, feelings, wants and desires that I do, I would ask for him to lie until he hopefully falls for me the same way I have for him. The love of my life, my best friend, my security and guidance, my whole world; please love me just as I love you, because no one could ever love me more than I love you.

Nilo Sinclair