Becoming Myself

So here is my story of how I realised that I was in fact a Transgender Male and not a Cisgendered Female.

All my life I was unapologetically myself, I didn’t care what anyone else wanted me to be I was just me. As a young child I was seen as a tomboy, always running around with the boys and getting dirty. I just wanted to do what the boys were doing, no matter what it was. Whether it was playing football or running around shirtless even having my hair cut really short. I used to get really excited whenever someone would call me a boy. Although my parents would always correct them and then I would feel insanely embarrassed. As a kid I didn’t have a word for it but I knew that I was meant to be a boy. Fast forward a few years to when I was in high school. I struggled constantly with my sexuality and identity. For the first few years I convinced myself and everyone around me that I was a straight female but deep down I knew that I was wrong. I wanted to be a Straight Female because I didn’t want to be seen as different to anyone else. Having to hide my identity for so long took a huge toll on my mental health. At 14 I came out as bisexual but again I was wrong, I just said I was bisexual to transition how I really felt. By the time I was 15 I came out as a Lesbian and started dating a girl. I was happy and content with life but something still wasn’t right. I still didn’t feel like I was being my authentic self. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to live my life the way I was supposed to be. Once I graduated high school I finally took the time to really do some research into how I was feeling. I looked deep inside myself and I discovered a lot of things. I found out what Dysphoria was and realised that I finally had a name for what I was feeling. I was so scared to actually admit the way I was feeling to myself let alone anyone else I knew. So I just did it gradually and actually confused myself so much more in the process. At 18 I came out as genderfluid and experimented with all pronouns. After about 3 months I came out as Trans-Nonbinary and used he/them pronouns. Once I turned 19 I finally built up the courage and came out as Trans FtM using strictly he/him pronouns. Coming out as Trans and being my true self was one of the hardest yet most euphoric things I have ever experienced. After I came out things didn’t just fall into place. I lost a lot of people I thought would never leave me. I had to do all kinds of doctors appointments and therapists appointments before I could change my name and start testosterone. Now I’m trying to save $11,000 for Top surgery. It’s not an easy journey but it certainly is the most rewarding. I’m not 18 months on Testosterone and living my best life as a young man. It took me a long time to figure out who I was and I’m still not completely there yet but I will be. So to anyone who is struggling with their identity just remember that there is never a right or wrong time to come out. Just do it at your own pace and everything will be okay.

I’m happy to Answer questions and do more story times so interact with the story!