At First Sight (Pt. 1)

First Date

Looking back, she should have known. She should have known that that look wasn’t love. She should have known that look wasn’t ecstasy. She should have known that look was desire on the verge of obsession. First loves are blinding. The entire world could be burning and she would never have known. She knew though, knew after it was too late.

Swipe left, swipe right, that’s the way it goes nowadays. Everything is so impersonal and nothing is sincere. Really, all that’s ever asked for is a nice roll in the sheets and nothing more. Well-mannered intentions are falling to the wayside. The busy working woman does not stand a chance against girls looking for a fun time.

She was just that, a busy working woman with no other options than the monotony of online dating. With the pressures of her family and coupled friends, she felt as if it was now or never. Not to mention the ticking body clock, tick tock tick tock—the potential for motherhood screamed down her neck. Maybe settling wasn’t as bad, she thought.

For the moment, however, it was deadlines glaring off the computer before her. Her boss had been on her since the moment she walked through the door. Barking orders like the drill sergeant he used to be. She felt the vibration of her phone in her pocket but resisted the urge to pull it out with the hopes of another match waiting for her reply. It seemed to her that if she did not reply in a timely manner deemed fit by her recent matches, that she’d come to find them mysteriously gone. The potential new love of her life would have to wait till lunch.

The clock slowly crept second by second to noon. She sat at her desk not so patiently waiting for the magic hour to strike. A giddy school girl, that’s how her friends would describe her anticipation. Maybe this year the family Christmas party would not be full of disappointing stares and not so quiet whispers. The magic hour had finally arrived and she found herself nervous.

She was nervous to see if this match would turn out like all the rest. Would he like her? Would he be just another douchebag looking to see what color her underwear were? Maybe this time her prospective prince charming wouldn’t turn out to be a complete toad. She’d kissed about enough frogs and toads to last two lifetimes or so it seemed. She never really got out much. She found more comfort in her worn down couch than some random bar stool.

The small and cozy café in her building was as usual packed. Waiting in the endless line, she began to scroll through the notifications on her phone. A text from her mother, a missed call from her sister, and an email for nutritional supplements were in the way of what she was really hoping to find. That little orange flame finally appeared. A twinge of hope flared up within her. This time, this time would definitely be different. She felt as if she did not tell herself this, that all her hope would disappear.

The hope for more than a fling. The hope for someone to spend lazy Sundays with. The hope for someone to go on spontaneous adventures with. She was ready to give up, throw in the towel. So many bad dates and unsolicited pictures had left her feeling like it may never happen. One last shot was all she had left in her.

Did prince charming really exist anyway? At this point, she would settle for just about anything. What she did not know staring at this new match was he was “just about anything.” The message was sent and she anxiously awaited a reply. A knot began to form in the pit of her stomach. Was this just one of those guys who swiped right on every profile and would he even reply?

It was back to the grind for her. At least her drill sergeant of a boss would keep her mind mildly distracted enough. Her deadline was met and with her boss off her case, she headed out the door. A bottle of bourbon and cold pizza waited for her at home. It was a solitary life for her she was well aware and if she could have gotten a glimpse of the future she would have cherished it just a little bit more. The long trek home allowed her mind to wander and that was not something she was really all that fond of. It left time for anxieties and other issues to creep up into the forefront of her psyche.

Well into her second bourbon on the rocks, a familiar vibration echoed off her coffee table. He actually messaged back. Excitement grew in the pit of her stomach like the rosy blush upon a virgin’s face after hearing a dirty joke. She chatted back and forth with her new match; a small sense of faith in dating restored. So far so good. She hadn’t been asked what her favorite position was nor had she received any unsolicited picture. She was a grown woman, she liked all the fun adult activates as well as anyone else. However, she was over the endless monotony of hyper-sexualized nonsense of these men of which she had to choose from.

Three days had passed and they were still chatting away. They talked about everything from favorite foods to the most embarrassing high school moments. Nothing gave her the slightest inclination that anything was off about her new match. They set a date, set to meet at the local sports bar just down the road from her house. Friday night rolled around and she danced around her bathroom as she painted her face. A little smoking hot red lipstick to polish off her look and she was out the door.

She sat at the dimly light bar nursing a double bourbon on the rocks. After all, she felt as if she needed double the courage. Time seemed to go by as slowly as the beads of condensation down her glass. In reality, time hadn’t moved that slow, it was her nerves playing tricks on her. A tap on the shoulder and they finally met. Friendly greetings were exchanged along with an awkward hug. He didn’t look exactly like his pictures, but maybe that was the lighting of the bar. Looking back now, she knew that should have been the first clue.

She was desperate at the time and loneliness was a bit louder than her common sense. The date continued with little awkwardness outside of a few not so accidental brushes of the knee. She laughed at all the right moments and smiled every chance she got. This was it for her. There would be no more dating if this did not work out. The hour was late and they parted ways with vague plans to meet again.