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Are You Ready for a Relationship?

Ask yourself these questions before throwing your line into the sea - the "fish" can wait.

By Benjamin BratzPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Image by fkabay on pixabay

Are you looking up at the crowd of fishermen and women on the rock and considering joining them in search of the ultimate fish?

And are you ready to join them?

Maybe you stand among them even now, losing hope after fishing for so long without finding the "right one." It's just one bad fish after the other - how can a sea so vast have no decent fish?

Is it perhaps time to take a break on land to work on yourself first?

It is easy to fall into the trap of considering romance a necessity. Jumping from ship to ship, instead of asking why you want to be in a relationship, to begin with.

Answering this question is fundamental when assessing whether you are ready for a relationship. Because, how can you search when you don't know what you are looking for?

Do you want a partner or a dumping ground for your problems?

This may sound weird to you, but consider it for a minute or two - because there is a difference.

A partner is not supposed to be seen as a necessity but an extension and amplifier of what is already there. You should be able to do well without a partner - be comfortable with yourself.

Because then you can also give, rather than merely receive.

Which is key to a healthy relationship.

Meanwhile, some people feel a strong need to be in a relationship. Presumably, they can't stand themselves and thus seek a dumping ground for their problems, which does not encourage a long-lasting and happy romantic relationship. Why? Because they do not seek a partner to begin with, they only think they do.

Do you want someone to make you happy because you are unhappy with yourself? That's a warning sign that what you want is not a partner but a place where your insecurities are temporarily at rest and where you get constant confirmation.

And what do you do if this relates to you? I would recommend taking a break to work on yourself first. Get comfy in your own clothes before trying to get within someone else's.

Are you ready to get hurt?

Love is a strong emotion, and strong emotions in any direction make us vulnerable. So by entering a relationship, you will be in a delicate situation where your partner may cause you both great happiness and great sorrow.

It is important to know that quarrels happen and that sometimes you will be disappointed. Not to mention the devastating heartache that comes after and during a breakup - it's difficult to get over that, and some people never do.

Not that you should go into the relationship expecting the worst. That's not very romantic. It is about hoping for and expecting the best but still being capable of dealing with the bad.

Are you looking for love because of external pressure?

While single, many of us experience pressure from all sides to find a partner. Your best friend flaunts his girlfriend; she is all he ever talks about, and your parents pester you with the good ol' "when are you going to get a boy/girlfriend."

Besides, you see all the couples holding hands and kissing in public - they seem so happy. Can't I have some of that happiness too? These are all examples of external pressure.

But maybe you do not want to be in a relationship right now? Maybe you don't feel ready for such an endeavor? Try to look inside to find the true reason for which you seek a partner.

Is it internally motivated or externally? Often it is a mix of both, but I would say that it is vital for at least part of the driving force to be internal.

Examples of internal motivation to seek a relationship are that you want a loving partner to confide in and to make part of your world. That you want to find someone who will stick to you through good and bad and who cares about you deeply.

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About the Creator

Benjamin Bratz

Aspiring Author. Avid Reader. Student of Life.

See more at benjaminbratz.com

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