Are You Married Or You Just Live Together?

Many couples choose to live together without getting married. In Romania, 8% of those who could get married do not take this step and their number is growing. According to INS data, 129,018 marriages were registered in 2002, 30% less than in 1990. Should marriage be an old-fashioned pact?

The simple variant of living together

It is a common thing especially among young couples to live together without legalizing their relationship. Careers and the struggle for financial stability absorb all their energy and time. The notion of marriage no longer has the same meaning as in the past.

Today it is an "institution" that many young people avoid out of a desire to keep their freedom and career opportunities.

There are also psychological reasons why this step is not taken. Some people prefer cohabitation because of childhood traumas related to the divorce of their parents or other close people. But these problems are not the real reason for the decrease in the number of marriages because the number of cases is too small.

"Trial" marriage and then… real

Lately, contrary to religious tradition or the old mentality, cohabitation before the legalization of the relationship has become a habit, for several reasons.

1. A "responsible" couple does not marry before living together for a while. This habit is good for the later "health" of the relationship. Each partner can see if they can get used to the other's flaws or shortcomings. It is a kind of "trial marriage" in which, if it fails, no one will lose materially.

2. Recently, the divorce rate has increased and young people, even with stable relationships, are afraid of failure. In addition, for some of them, misunderstandings in their own families (especially between parents) discourage them.

3. Finding a well-paid job, buying a home are things that can delay marriage. The desire for material stability also stems from the fact that parents no longer have the opportunity to help them as in the past (except in raising their grandchildren). All this makes the age of those who get married increase.

Marriage is becoming a rarity

The number of marriages registered in 2002 was the lowest in the entire post-war period. Although increasingly rare, there are still couples who are motivated by marriage. There are people whose religion or certain principles do not allow them to live with the chosen half outside of marriage.

It is said that married people are happier, that this gives them the strength to succeed on all levels, even if their partners are young, at the beginning of the road. But marriage without a period of accommodation together can be a failure, especially if the two do not know each other well enough.

Married, but without documents!

Maybe because we are more traditional, cohabitation is not legislated in Romania. In countries such as France, the Netherlands, Belgium, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Norway, some provinces of Spain, and in some American states, consensual union enjoys legal status as marriage. Also, more and more countries are in the process of adopting legislation in this area, such as Portugal, Canada, Australia, and Finland.

In Western Europe, consensual union tends to become more common than marriage. Those who live in cohabitation maintain this status for 10–15 years and then get married.

Couples tend to follow the Western example by focusing on their careers. This situation is also due to the growing desire of young people to complete higher education. Thus, instead of getting married at the age of 21–22, I take this step at the age of 30–35.

If more and more couples choose this method of living together, it does not mean that the idea of ​​marriage is rejected. Young people do not refuse to legalize the relationship, but they need security on all levels and especially emotional stability.

Almost half of those who chose cohabitation are unmarried and are between 20 and 34 years old.

Consensual union - the lasting and stable relationship between a man and a woman, who live together by free consent without fulfilling the legal forms of marriage.