An Ode to Addam

This is Addam, with two “Ds.” He and I were in the Army together in 2005 to 2006, stationed in Ft. Riley, Kansas. I didn’t really get to know him until several, several months after joining Bravo Company (🐠—that’s a barracuda). Eventually, we’re all (Bravo) going out and drinking together.

Addam’s wife didn’t drink much and ultimately was assigned as “Jackson’s Babysitter.” Poor girl. Despite having a “babysitter,” I once nearly caused a physical altercation between Addam and a Samoan because I refused to apologize to said Samoan for popping his beer out of his hand 🍻 Despite dozens of witnesses of the incident, I immediately denied committing ever such blatant act of disREspeCT!

Anyway—the main point of posting Addam’s PICTURE is the distraction I felt at how his appearance has changed over the past 14 or so years. Addam went through a few style “phases” due to being a biracial kid with slight identity issues. (I’m really not implying that only biracial kids have issues with identity, I’m saying that ADDAM had slight identity issues, and not that he was conflicted about “choosing” as which race he’d stereotypically identify as. What I’m trying to say is that Addam had an Ecko Red and Perry Ellis Phase (didn’t we all?)).

Recently, I sent him a message because I kept seeing a “SOMEONE YOU MAY KNOW” suggestion who looked EXACTLY like the “Old Addam.” In a very “Addam-like” fashion, he sent me this picture and said, “No, this is me. That guy looks like a crappy off-brand.”

My thoughts aren’t anything along the lines of Addam seemingly “choosing” to align his identity as a stereotypical Caucasian. It’s not about THAT stereotype at all, but about “nerddom.” It would be fair to surmise that Addam possesses the physical attributes of a supposed “nerd”: the distinctive, professional glasses—and I know they were expensive. His perfectly fitted button-down, possibly tailored. The tame haircut that says, “I don’t want to be deemed a distraction, but I also want to embrace my natural hair by growing a lil’ ‘fro.” The business-like mannerism he has; his arm so diligently placed on the table.

He looks very inviting; willing to cheers if someone SO obliged; clinking the champagne glass with perfect and proper “cheers-ing” etiquette. But he takes only a sip, as not to appear as a guzzler with no restraint on his alcohol intake (me—ha! 😂🤣) Friendly smile, welcoming body language that says, “Hey buddy, come on over and have a seat with me. I don’t bite” and then he would smack the empty spot with his right hand. —Addam is a lefty, so the champagne class is in that hand. ALONG WITH, you may notice, a watch that has a going rate of the average mortgage in a middle class neighborhood.

You step back and think: THIS NERD. CORN BALL. RICH. UPTIGHT about anything even remotely inappropriate.

But the reason I adore this picture and why I absolutely love Addam to infinity pieces ❤️, is because THAT’S NOT WHO HE IS! AT. ALL. He is one the THEE funniest people I know (def top two)—his jokes are vulgar, and full of socially unacceptable satire. He’s sarcastic to a fault and quick-witted. And even when I’m the butt of the joke, I STILL find it hilarious! He teases people, but in a "light-hearted-but-I'm-being-serious" manner. People also wouldn’t see a combat veteran with several deployments under his belt (enlisted and contract)—“He’s too nerdy and weak," speaks ignorance, but that notice would be completely FALSE. He's passive-aggressive, ignorance may assume. NOPE!—not in the slightest. He likes to specifically dissect what you did wrong, and instruct on he how he would have done much better.🤣(I also adore that about him. his superiority complex). And RIGHTFULLY SO! He is also incredibly intelligent and rivals the amount of reading I do and the drive to gain knowledge.

He’s not friendly, but he is. He is very kind and he's not not nice 😂😬, but I'd question the likelihood of him inviting a “buddy” to sit next to him.

In this photo, one may consider Addam to be a nerd-face tight-wad, but contrary to appearance, he will make you laugh until your stomach feels like it might burst, while simultaneously causing you to doubt your own intellect. The dichotomy is unfathomable. Once your laughter settles and you wipe your tears of failure with a wadded Kleenex, causing Addam to react with a face full of disgust and an audible “uuugghhkk.” 🤢, You are able to have the most intriguing, insightful, thought-provoking conversation 🧠. Social media being pinnacle in the lives of most, great conversation is hard to come by.

Coming to a close since I’m bordering on having to explain to my boyfriend why I wrote something so in-depth(long) about a ANOTHER MAN?

Addam may look like a nerd in this picture—I mean, I guess he’s a little bit of a nerd, some may even say a "dweeb," but Addam is no dweeb. Nor is he passive, corny, and uptight.

Addam is amazing, and despite his straight-laced appearance, he is an absolute hoot.