Am I Human?

by Michael Grube 8 months ago in humanity

I feel in specific ways that are not normal...

Am I Human?

I have been told for a long time that I am old soul or that I am 'different'. It was only in the last couple of years that I was able to discover what it was that was actually 'wrong' with me.

From childhood I felt that I was different than everyone else around me. I saw everything; I felt everything. There were times when this would resonate with such intensity that I would need to get away from everything and everyone in order to hear my own thoughts. I had no clue whether or not something was seriously wrong with what I thought or how I felt, but now that I know what that feeling is, I can better control the chaos it can create if left unchecked.

So, if you have never heard of an empath, I encourage to do a search and read a little bit about what it is and what it could mean for you if you have ever felt this way. Have you ever had the feeling that you know what someone is thinking when they are not saying anything to give you any sort of hint as to what it is that they are thinking? This can happen when you are around someone for a long period of time, such as with your significant other or a best friend that you hang around for a long period of time, but that is not what I am referring to here. I am talking about meeting a total stranger and you know that they are thinking a certain way about a very specific thing. That thing that they are thinking about, suddenly pops into your head like it was your own thought and you find yourself engrossed in a conversation about it just like you were thinking about that subject the entire time. I have random people approach me all the time when I am out in the world, not because I am an attractive human being, but I vibrate in such a way that attracts others. This is a little hard to explain and is even harder to accept if you do not believe the way I believe about topics like the soul, or love, or happiness; but in order for you to understand how this is possible you will need to open your mind a bit.

The other day I was at the local super market getting the notary to sign my divorce papers, and when I arrived, something immediately felt "off." Now, to a normal person that has never attempted to seek out why they feel that way, it would appear to just be a moment of discourse and quickly shuffled away; but I knew that something was feeling me and asking me to address it and so I did. The notary happened to be a woman that was a few years younger than myself, but I could already tell that she had a maturity about her that was attractive. Of course, I was there seeking her service for the paperwork and I was under no obligation to share in any small talk with her, but I was compelled to say something. We started the conversation with the normal pleasantries and then I went for the throat, as with practice I have found that this is the simplest way to get to the heart of that feeling. Long story short, we had very similar situations leading up to our both ending our nuptials. The situations were so similar in fact, that we ended up laughing and reminiscing together for about ten minutes. The conversation was short, but the entire time I was engaged with her I felt like time was slowing down. When the conversation ran its course, I felt like that we connected in a way that many are either afraid of or incapable of today. We are so consumed with ourselves that we ignore that feeling to reach out to our fellow man.

I explained that situation in detail because it explains how an empath is able to establish that connection with you. I feel that people instantly trust me with anything and everything that they wish to tell me. While this can be dangerous in certain arenas, it confused the hell out of me before I understood why. If you find yourself in similar situations, you may want to seek out whether or not you, yourself are an empath. We all vibrate at certain frequencies, and the more powerful the empath, the better that they can see and read what you need at the time. It has gotten to the point for me that I can willingly turn this ability on and off. The reason I learned how to do this is that it can be very draining if left unchecked. Before I could control the noise, I would be in a crowded room and be feeling what everyone else in the room was feeling, all at the same time. It was overwhelming.

Energy transference is something that happens in our lives on a daily basis, and science is just no catching up to the makeup of humans. If you don't believe me, then how can you explain how you can wirelessly charge your cell phone from another room in the house or perform anything wirelessly? The fact that we choose to ignore that there are things in metaphysics that explain why feel a certain way about love and connection does not make it untrue or less real. I find that the deeper I go within this research, I develop a greater appreciation for things such as these. Not that I am some sort of oracle, but I see things for what they really are and I accept it for what it is. I do not try and change the course that is already set before whatever is supposed to happen. I just feel, and most will never understand.

In closing, I would say that the greatest struggle of being what I am is knowing what I am and separating what I am from who I am. Since I possess the capabilities of feeling what others feel, I find that it can be difficult to understand what I am feeling and why. Overtime I have been able to focus on my own vibration to know where it is and how to find it. It is important that you always know how you resonate that way you know that the way you feel and think is, in fact, you. With that I will say that I hope you enjoyed reading this. I have been wanting to tell a little about this side of me for a while now, but it is not easy and it changes the way that people look at you. It takes a lot of energy to explain to someone that you can see what 'color' they are, and I am not referring to pigmentation. So, most of the time I do not explain and just go about being what and who I am and they will never know the difference. The rare times that I am around someone that is similar to me is always a wonderful experience.

humanity
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Michael Grube

I am 32 years old, an Army veteran, and soon to be divorced. I have been writing since i was young and have always been told that I have a knack for it. I've tried my hand at a few novel attempts; my heart lies within poetry and journalism.

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