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All or Nothing Kind

About you

By C.J.BPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Calgary, Canada

Sometimes, we meet people who sparked and shined brighter than anyone else. For the lucky ones, they stay and end up together. For the unlucky ones, like you and me, it is fleeting. Perfect for a moment and gone the next.

To me, you were unstoppable. The second I felt myself developing feelings for you, the second I had pursued this and let my walls down, you became inevitable.

I was incredibly honest with you and you were the same to me.

Being together for two years, whenever we were happy, we weren't just happy, we were amazing. Maybe this is why it was so painful whenever we would hit our lows.

We had actually started off as friends who maybe talked to each other once every two to three months just to catch up, until the time came when it was just different.

When our relationship started, neither one of us said anything to anyone. I didn't want to, because I didn't know if our relationship was going to be an actual relationship, if we would last more than a month, or if it was just a moment of passion as it was, incredibly passionate.

When we had finally decided to let our friends know, we became even happier and everything was perfect.

It was all perfect until it wasn't.

At some point, things became too toxic. We lived in our own world as we did during our "honeymoon" phase. I guess we couldn't stay in that world forever.

When things ended, we tried to remain friends, but it didn't work. We fought, we were angry. We were angry because we couldn't undo the things that were said and done, we couldn't undo us.

I was so broken or maybe I had allowed myself to be so broken that I had to move to another state.

We didn't talk for two years, and when we finally did, any progress I made in forgetting how I felt about you disappeared. I was back to zero. Back to wondering, 'what if.'

You had the same effect that you had on me when we were perfectly happy and in love. One word and I still would have left everything behind.

When we started talking again, it was like before, we relived all the memories until we had to relived that horrible separation again.

The only thing that was worse than the fact that we couldn't work it out the first time or the second time was that you had admitted to me how you felt about me.

It was exactly as I felt, but at the same time, too much has happened in the past.

Whenever our friends asked, 'why not just get back together?' We both knew that the issue was trust. Not because somebody cheated or anything but because we had trusted each other not to hurt one another and we did. We did this much more than I could have anticipated.

Truly, I hope we both meet someone who would make sense of what you and I didn't end up having, someday.

breakups
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About the Creator

C.J.B

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