After a Lifetime of Loneliness

After a Lifetime of Loneliness, I Found Love When I Quit Looking

I went to high school with you, not me, but a guy like me. A big klutzy guy who was the poster boy for social awkwardness. I grew out of the zits, but my self-esteem didn't grow at all.

It didn't help that I am Dyslexic and have other learning issues. I was always the oldest and fattest guy in class. I went through my teens and adulthood never dating, I went everywhere alone.

I was living with my uncle in Florida when he died. After a few months, I grew so lonely. I started online dating, and I had a great time.

I was in my fifties, and acting like a normal single man for once, it was fun, but it left me empty. I was resigned to being alone. I thought I would die single.

After a series of bad decisions made by me, I was homeless in Minneapolis. I would spend my days with the other homeless at the library.

I would spend my time online using the library computers. I started talking to a woman on Facebook. Meeting someone online was the last thing in the world I wanted.

It started slow, neither one of us understood why we kept talking to each other. She lived in another State. I at first had no idea what was coming next.

We grew as close as two people could be, without physically meeting. In time I was sent to another shelter, a shelter where I had a room by myself to stay in.

This woman I never met sent me a cellphone. our relationship grew from there. Two years after we started talking, she flew from South Carolina to see me.

We spent four days together, at that point I was done. I couldn't see a future without her. I was going through a hard period in my life, but she didn't care, she loved me anyway, and I love her with all my heart.

The following Thanksgiving, she bought me a train ticket to Philadelphia. She took the train from South Carolina. We had Thanksgiving with her older sister and the rest of the family.

We had the best time.

When I returned to Minneapolis, I was determined to be with her in South Carolina. We made it happen.

At the time, I was going through some trials in my life, I was homeless. Olivia had paid for the trip to Philadelphia, and she paid for the plane ticket to South Carolina.

We got married in our church on September 10th. 2017. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would marry an African-American woman in the South in my sixties, but here I am.

I couldn't be happier. It wasn't without Drama. Her family wasn't excited about me being in the family. The fact that I'm white was bad enough, but being homeless made things worse.

We got to know each other, and in time I was accepted into the family. The experience has taught me some things about other people and myself.

I learned that I could find what I was looking for when I quit looking. I was meeting women in the wrong places, and I was unhappy.

I was having fun physically, but I wasn't satisfied Spiritually or emotionally. I was still lonely, even though I had a social life for the first time.

I quit looking; in fact, I was homeless and I thought the last thing in the world I needed was a relationship. Olivia and I were both taken by surprise by our feelings for each other.

I have had few relationships in my life. I had to learn how to be emotionally and spiritually connected to a woman. In my old age, I had become a selfish and self-absorbed person.

I am a stubborn person, and so is my wife. I make a habit of backing down when I can. I pick my battles, I'm not a henpecked husband.

It gets tense at times. I'm a Republican, and she's a Democrat. I will never change, and neither will she. I try to keep my mouth shut when we watch the news on TV.

What we both find interesting; we tend to bring out the best in each other. She is becoming more organized, and I am becoming more patient.

I have changed in my Spiritual life as well. I was raised in a Christian home, but I rebelled. I quit going to church when my mom died.

I promised Olivia that if she married me, I would go to church with her. I love our church. I was accepted there. I feel the love every time we go to church.

I tried so hard to find someone. I would get shot down, or I would be with someone wrong for me for so many reasons. Olivia and I started talking because she wanted to fill her friend's list on Facebook.

Our relationship is so improbable. With our differences, it shouldn't work, but it does. I have some advice for the lonely people out there.

Just do you. Work on your Spiritual growth. Work on being a good person, love, and accept yourself. Be open, active, and friendly, and you will find someone when you least expect to.

I was lonely and had a void in my heart. I found the love of my life when I quit looking for her.