Advice from marriage counselors: Save your marriage don't compromise everywhere, do these six efficient save marriage

Even though we recognize that there is a problem, we need to make a change, but many things, too much of a good thing.

I have seen too many visitors who are so afraid of losing their feelings that they lose themselves and their judgment. They just keep confessing to each other and begging them not to leave.

In this way, the real problem can not be solved, can not change back to the once sweet love.

Take this case:

When oda learned that her husband cheated on her with an understanding small three, she in order to keep her husband, wash clothes and cook dinner every day, and apologize, and even said that as long as not divorced, she can not oppose her husband in the outside looking for who.

Oda this is to use their so-called action, let her husband see her change, made a humble, virtuous image. In fact, every day she secretly hid alone and cried.

But so blindly to please each other, but let the husband more firm and her determination to divorce, why is this in the end?

Remember that! Love is always an equal battle, no one will want to and a no principle, will only kneel and lick people to compound.

If you've ever made the mistake of trying to get your partner to come back to you by badgering them and undercutting them, you've just made it harder for yourself. But that's not to say that the situation is dead. Figuring out whether or not the relationship can be salvagedand how to fix it in detail is a case-by-case study, because there is no one-size-fits-all methodology. For this reason, I specially made the following card, if you are not sure about your relationship problems, you can click on the card below for a detailed consultation analysis. Partners in need can click to get.

You keep saying you're wrong, doesn't that mean you've done so much wrong before? Isn't that what you're trying to do?

Men are full of conquering animals, you do this, not only obliterate his desire to conquer in front of you, but also let him confirm his decision to divorce you is correct.

Plus, saying you're wrong before you get to the root cause of the breakup will only make your partner think you're trying to coax him back in to save the marriage. Men still don't have enough trust and security in their future relationship.

I never approve of the client with "kneel licking" way to create a false compound.

Why does it mean fake recombination?

In my opinion, this is not called compound, this is the injustice, the injustice of perfection may not be able to complete the kind of injustice!

Love is always a battle of equals. After the husband put forward divorce blindly admit mistake to please, compromise everywhere, even kneel lick for compound is a big dead end! So without compromise, how else can we save our marriage?

First, do not accuse, any way of accusing, will only make him more dislike you

After the breakup of the relationship, no matter how good you are to him, he is indifferent to you or vicious words, you wronged sad, angry, can not help but accuse him "how can you be so unfeeling", "I have been so good to you, how do you want me", "is you out of the track, why is so justified".

You may wish you could wake them up, but you can't.

First of all, no matter you accept it or not, in the other person's heart, you are separated, for your wishful giving, he has reason not to respond.

Secondly, the other party is completely disappointed in you before choosing to leave, in his opinion, you have a lot of problems. Your criticism will make the other person think that you are unrepentant and blame shifter, and he will only dislike you more.

If you need more help with your emotions, you can follow me in a message and talk to me about your emotional problems. I can help you heal, cheer you up, and get you out of those three horrible feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, and impotence.

Second, different stages, get along with different ways

There are generally four stages to saving a marriage:

Cooling-off period -- We need to focus on improving ourselves and control ourselves even if we want to badger each other again.

Avengers - We can't stress each other out by exposing too much need.

Flirtatious period - The relationship is relatively warm, but don't act too warm, or you may end up in a low position in the future.

Save success

At different stages, our identities are different to each other, so the way we get along with each other is also different.

Of course, after saving your marriage, how you get along with each other depends on how you feel about each other.

Three, don't always worry about gains and losses, scare yourself

Many people in the process of saving their marriage will fall into the mentality of worrying about gains and losses, worried about saving the marriage failure, worried that the process is too tired and too long, worried about the other party to find new love.

In the process of doing things, moderate worry about gains and losses is good for us, because it can urge us to take actions to reduce the probability of failure, but excessive worry about gains and losses is a kind of hindrance to us, because we will give ourselves a lot of negative hints, nothing can be motivated to do.

Therefore, when saving marriage, do not be too worried about gains and losses, immersed in their own imagination, but to do it immediately, break the logic and habit of repeatedly thinking, take a step out, often the courage to do things will be generated.