Addiction of Love
Do you ever think that the greatest thing and the most difficult thing that we can possibly experience in our life time is the same thing. The hot and cold of our life and the thing that gives us life is the same thing?
The greatest pain that we can suffer in our lives is the feeling of being in love. We give countless hours of our energy to the person we have chosen for ourselves to be the receiver of that precious gift. We have rash thinking that if we give so much energy to the opposite person they will never leave us, that they will reciprocate the same emotions that we have towards us.
Then of course, if we are so lucky, we make it through our lives with our partner. But, even getting to the point of marriage or even making it to the end doesn't come without heart break and disappointment. There was a philosopher that said somewhere a long the lines that falling in love is already pain in itself.
This means that the fact that we can be in love is already setting us up to be hurt and have pain. In fact, we might even unconsciously self sabotage our own relationship, psychologically prepare ourselves for the heartbreak. What I mean by self sabotaging our own relationship is that we already expect the relationship to fail due to learned behavior of a model or through personal experience. Regardless of what stage we are in with a partner, if it's the "talking" phase, or been together for 5 years, or married for 25 years, we are never saved from our Id impulses.
Then why do we continue to put ourselves through this anxiety of emotions, constant life of tears and fears? To sit in our beds and cry at the fact we could have done better. The person we loved is no longer receiving your stimulating love. The fact that we choose to feel empty and alone without the person that used to have our soul in the palm of their hand, who is now just a shadow of the person we once knew. Strangers.
Why do we do it?
Because to be in love or to have love is to be human, is to be awaken from the darkness of the world even though at any moment it can cast its darkness upon us again. It’s to be alive. Love is feeling the universe tossing in the mind, Love is ecstasy, a collision of atoms that happens when a person who graces us with the ability to touch their universe and be consumed by their soul.
Once our high is over... we create withdrawals of love in our mind. As soon as it becomes non existent, we become distressed, possessed with flashbacks of the memories that we used to hold close to our hearts, fatigue, trying to restore our brain to what it used to be with out this high. Trying to figure out how to be content with no love from someone we love.
We cannot live without love, we cannot live with the withdrawals of love... so we choose to be indulged in it. It has been concluded in our minds that being hurt but in love trumps the loneliness.
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