A Woman's Journey

Every little girls child hood dream is to be inlove and swept of their feet by their Prince Charming. As the fairy tales make you believe Happily Ever After.

Growing up in a world of humans and reality this isn't the case. She dreamt of always being swept away by Prince Charming. She dreamt of being rescued from her life. Looking back now as an adult it was not so bad growing up but the love she was hoping to fine she never did.

Moving away from her home town, to a town of many promises if only finding that love was promised she would feel complete. Unfortunately it isn't well not for her.

Dating as an older adult late 30's seem so impossible to find someone that is honest, loyal, someone who is willing to know you and accept all of you. Someone willing to be there even when things get tough.

Every broken heart and broken wound she has said no to putting herself out there again. Its not that being alone is a problem. Its just that she wants that life long partner. She wants that soulmate, that partner to grow and be with explore the world and life with. That family life she never had and always wanted. She want it for her daughter.

Honestly she hates dating. Its like a chore. She hates having to go through the same things, same questions every time you meet someone new. Its tiring. Its weiry. Its depressing at times. It actually makes you feel more lonely than before.

When you meet someone that you click with. Someone that you like and you just feel that electrical tingle running through your body. All you can do is hope that other person feels it to. Trying to find any clue or sign that they feel you to. They want you to.

Then the rules you set up for yourself. The no sex after three dates or three months. The no giving or showing all yourself to that person unless they really share themselves with you to. Then paying attention to how they speak, treat you, respond. Does it really matter when you have sex anymore? Does that show if a person will stick around or not? Does it matter also if you make the first moves or not?

Online dating has gotten so much bigger. So many dating sites and so many other ways of dating such as speed dating or blind dating or even online speed dating or blind dating. Lol, even online match making. Has dating lost its real meaning? Have people destroyed the purpose of dating by lies and just doing it for the wrong reasons?

Have you tried any of these lately, well she has. Especially online dating. She does know a few succesful stories and she will admit they have given her hope to try. She did meet someone and they dated for four months then made it official. He was kicked out of Coast Guards she did not understand exactly how but she decided to help him. He moved in with her and everything qas well. He then also stupidly left his car parked while he qas ay an interview, it got towed. He lost the car left it to long. He settled for a security job at a hotel paykng nothing much. He felt he could convince them he can be better amd they will raise his pay but that dod not happen. He got depress, didnt want to do anything. Was always sleeping or sick lr down. Then right after Christmas he got his disability checks fro. The military and decided to leave. Guess what? He left her on Valentines day. Told her he didnt know if things would work ojt or if he will return knowing he was never coming back. She was confused and devastated. Her daughter got attached to him even though he did not do much with her and missed him to. She pulled herself together for her daughter and moved in slowly. He even made her felt like it was her fault. She ended up seeing a therapist and then realized it was not her fault at all, he had his plans and used her and her daughter until he got what he wanted and needed. the next six months was like a total different person.

It makes you wonder if people really know what they want and are really being honest with themselves or they just love playing games.

She did went back on dating eventually but now trusting or opening up to someone else really bothered her. She did not know what to believe anymore. She trued to enjoy dating, tried to not focus on finding the one but it started taking a toll on her. She became a little depress and started thinking something was wrong with her. Why, no one wants her or if they liked her, they just seem to want to get her in bed.

She almost give up then right before deleting her accounts she met someone and they started talking. They eventually exchanged numbers. The connection, the click was so strong, he aslex her if it felt like they were in a relationship even before meeting her.

Have you ever heard people say sometimes you meet someone and it feels like you known them before or met them before? Thats is how they both felt. She was so scared to beleive it and believe the things he say to her because she had so many promises to her borken or alll the sqeet beds of roses sang to her that believing he was different was hard.

Then one day he told her he loved her and wanted to be with her and no one else. Help her raise her daughter as a family. He asked her to move in with him and she did.