A White Girl's Thoughts

This article will probably receive a lot of hate, but I need to write it. There is a fundamental reason why; racism. You see, I am an advocate of anti-racism and work hard every day to instil tolerance in my children. I find the fact that anyone has to teach tolerance abhorrent. It should be a natural state of being. In my mind, racism is a mental illness; a person of sound mind should not harbour it. 

However, that's not what the meat of this article is about. I have read so many stories written by POC about how 'Whites' do this or how bad 'Whites' do that. It breaks my heart and sparks a little anger and resentment, if I'm honest. I am so tired of reading how 'White' people are the enemy of POC that they are ignorant and racist. How only white people can be racist, and all white people are the same. 

It has come to the point that it feels like the world has lumped the caucasian race together, and we are all the great evil against everyone that is not white. I'm a white girl; I have blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin. My husband is Scottish; he has red hair, pink skin that turns lobster red in the sun, blue eyes and more freckles than you can count. So, you can guess that our kids are pretty pale as well. 

As you can see, I'm not 100% white. It's not a lot, but there is POC heritage in my genetics. The funny thing is, most people will have mixed ancestry, especially in America, where racial hate is so high. America is called the melting pot for a reason. 

My brother, who is sadly deceased, was of mixed heritage. His father was a Hispanic immigrant that my mom met when I was about four. Cody was born in 1983 and spent his whole life being ridiculed and made fun of, to the point that he denied his heritage and shut down any conversation relating to his biological father. 

My sister in law has reached out to me in hopes of finding my brother's father. Unfortunately, I have very few memories of him, and most of the people that knew him have passed. But, you see, they had three beautiful boys together, and she wants them to know that side of themselves. Even though she is white, she is trying to find my brothers paternal family to let them know about their grandchildren. The fact that she wants them to know and understand their racial heritage warmed my heart. 

I grew up in the South; North Carolina is not known for its racial tolerance. Even my family have been idiots, especially the older generations. It was what they were taught. I refused to have that mindset, and thankfully a large percentage of my extended family also share that ideology. It's not all white people that are against all POC. It's not all POC against all white people. Unfortunately, there are two sides to this battle, and both sides have to take responsibility. 

My unpopular opinion is this. To all my POC writers, whom I greatly admire, I have a favour to ask. Instead of writing stories with negative connations about the differences between POC and whites, why can't we come together and learn to live alongside one another, to celebrate one another instead of ridicule? 

What am I supposed to tell my children when they come to me asking about things they've seen or read on the internet? Something like, 'Mom, why is this lady saying that all white people are racist?' or 'Mum, this person on TikTok is saying that all white people are colonisers.' 

Well, I can tell you what I am telling them now. It's not true. Not all white people are racist, and no, we are not colonisers because that happened long before anyone alive was born. We are who we make ourselves to be; we are not our forefathers. Then I find the duet videos on TikTok where other POC have come back and lashed out at the original videos, giving their opinions. So I show my children that not everyone thinks like that. 

My eight-year-old daughter is too clever. She already knows about genetics and how skin colour and eye colour works. We were talking today about how all people came from Africa, long, long ago. I teach my children that we are all people. It does not matter what colour they are, what religion they are from, or what background. You must judge a person as an individual. You consider whether they are nice or not by their actions and words, not by anything else. 

I was raised poor white trash, in an area where most girls would have been pregnant by sixteen and more than likely on drugs. Many of my classmates have passed away due to OD. I couldn't even guess how many have criminal records. Yet, here I am, living in the UK, working towards my Doctorate and writing. We are not our situations or histories; we are who we chose to make ourselves. I ask that we all try to make ourselves better human beings. There is only one race of people: the human race; as long as we hold on to old injustices and injuries, that unity will never happen. I am not saying forget them; I am asking for forgiveness; on both sides of the divide.