A Waiter Ruined My Wedding So I Called It off - AITA?

In hindsight, I should have known this was going to happen. Isaac and I obviously weren’t compatible but you know how it goes in the mid-west, you go to college, get married, buy a house.

We had spent months planning. We wanted to keep the wedding small so when a venue that appeared to be part church, part farmhouse fell into our laps, we put down the deposit and started thinking of ways to make the space cute.

Isaac always had a knack for design, and although simple, the space became almost magical with the potted plants we had found at Goodwill, twinkling with the tiniest of fairy lights.

We had decided on carnival meets shabby chic, a Pinterest dream if you will. Isaac and I always fancied ourselves minimalists but wanted to give our guests something fun for the gram you know?

None of this is all that important but I wanted to make it clear to you that this wedding took up a lot of our time, and it was supposed to be a marvelous day.

A couple of hours before the ceremony, I was pacing the pews in the church, just trying to keep my mind off the anxiety of being in front of a room full of people (introverts am I right?) when I noticed this guy who appeared to be eavesdropping at one of the small rooms off the corridor.

“What the hell are you doing?” He put one finger up to his lips to shush me as I crept closer, realizing now that one of the voices he was listening to belonged to Sally, one of my bridesmaids.

As I got closer to the door, I noticed the guy had really gone all out for our wedding theme. Garish carnival colors, waistcoat, and a tophat (a freaking top hat) made up his outfit and I wondered if he had come with Isaac’s family. He certainly wasn’t my kin but before I could ask him I heard Sally speaking excitedly.

We both put our ears against the barely cracked door.

“God, what a beautiful wedding right. She and Isaac worked so hard and saved up for so long for this, I’m almost speechless you know? Just like, what a beautiful wedding right?”

Sally is such a sweetheart. I grinned at the man in the top hat, somewhat forgetting that we were now both being spectacularly weird as we huddled outside this door.

“And yes”, someone replied to her.

I craned my neck, squeezing my eyeball as far into the crack as it would go only to see a flash of coat-tail pass out of my sight. Ah, Sally must be helping the waitstaff set up the catering. Always a sweetheart, always the first to lend a hand.

“What a shame.”

“What’s that?” Sally absentmindedly replied to the waiter.

“What a shame the poor groom’s bride is a whore.”

I barely concealed a gasp as I looked up at the top-hatted man once more. He looked, almost... sad? I could feel the panic set in as I realized this waiter just called me...a whore...to my own friend and bridesmaid...like, an hour before my wedding. What the hell?

In a flurry of movement the mysterious top hat had slammed the door open, and as I watched in shocked silence, began to chime in with the most absurd yet strangely melodic lecture.

Between the blood rushing through my ears and my body screaming at me to just walk away, I managed to catch a glimpse of Sally, fists clenched at her sides, as she began to scream at the waiter as he stood there, smug and seemingly unbothered by the scene unfolding in front of him.

We made the briefest of eye contact as my new friend entered the room, slamming the door behind him. I thought I heard him shout something about closing doors, which is funny in hindsight since technically, the door was basically closed, and he was the one with his ear pressed against the door.

I wanted to go find Isaac. The ceremony was set to start in an hour but I needed this guy off the property NOW. I mean, a random waiter calling me a whore at my wedding would be enough to send anyone into a full-blown Karen rage right?

I had to look at this rationally though, poised if I could manage it. I was not going to lose 4 years of anger management therapy to some random cater-penguin.

Isaac was busy getting ready and I could easily ignore this until after the ceremony. Besides, Sally and the top hat guy clearly had my back so I took a deep breath, turned on my Calm app, and stepped outside for a cigarette.

The ceremony started without issue, and I was so distracted by the beauty of it all and Isaac standing up there with me that I had all but forgotten about the strange waiter/Sally/top hat incident.

I put them in the back of my mind as I willed my brain to remember my vows, and hoped that my stage fright wasn’t giving me too much of an unflattering flush.

We were so close to the end, just a few sentences away from “I do” when the waiter stood up and asked to a silent room, “You really gonna do this Isaac?”

Apparently, my ushers thought it prudent to let the waiter in despite him clearly being staff. Neato.

“Are you kidding right now Daniel?” Oh, the top hat guy was all the way in the back as well. Nice of him, that outrageous hat would have definitely blocked some views.

“No are YOU kidding ME, Brendon?” The top hat guy is Brendon, noted.

“Isaac, you know damn well you can’t marry this chick. Come on babe, don’t do this.”

Brendon sighed as he made his way up the aisle and attempted to corral Daniel out of the church. “You can’t do this Brendon, Isaac loves me!” Daniel sobbed.

“The only reason I know about you and Isaac is because neither of you knows how to close a god damn door, Daniel! Why do you think I followed you all the way here?”

I looked at Isaac, he looked at me, at Daniel. Brendon looked at Sally, at me, at Isaac. Daniel looked at his feet. (coward).

I thought about what it would mean to my family and friends if I just walked away from this bizarre doesn’t actually happen in real life moment, about all the choices that had brought me here to this exact moment in space and time.

I grinned at Isaac. My cheeks stretching in what was probably a horrifying display of teeth and joy.

“I think you should go with Daniel.”

I felt the laughter, just sheer mirth building up ready to burst forth. “I’ll look at it this way. I mean, technically our marriage is saved, right? I mean, we’re obviously not getting married dude, but yup, this calls for a toast.”

Isaac looked at me with concern. “No really, please leave.” I choked out between giggles. “I am going to continue this wedding but you and Daniel should leave please.”

Tears streamed down my face. Was I laughing or crying? I was clearly panicking at my own wedding, a panic attack, at a party. The shame, I may have well been crying at the damn disco for god's sake.

No matter, the deposit on this venue was non-refundable so damn it, we were going to have a party!

“Pour the champagne!” I screeched into the bewildered faces of our 60 odd guests.

I do wish Isaac had told me about Daniel before we had gone through all this trouble but you know, I get it. I really do. HAHA get it? I do.

Anyway, Isaac's being kind of a dick now and says we should have finished the ceremony for our families, and he wasn't planning on coming out to his parents yet so they were understandably shocked. I told him then maybe his secret boyfriend shouldn't have crashed our wedding which apparently was the wrong thing to say because now he's pissed and our friends are saying I was kind of an ass to say that to him.

So what do you think? AITA here?