A Tone of Regret

The roar of the waterfall crashing over the rocks was eerily soothing to the grieving tortured soul of a young man approaching the edge of the fullness of pain. Tony came here often at night to hear the water flow as the murky brown became pure white on its rocky descent to the bottom. He could even almost feel her presence embracing him with warmth as he would ponder the memories they shared and his epic failure to treasure those moments. He thought that they had an infinite amount of time, after all they were both in their twenties. It had been nearly a year since her passing, and yet the agony was still as raw as if it had just been yesterday.

Tony arose from his usual sitting spot on the ground, and walked toward his car. As he was driving home, it seemed that the radio station was intensifying the pain. If it wasn't songs about heartbreak, it was songs that were special to the both of them. Lynn loved to listen to music and always had a favorite song that would play in the car until the tape was nearly worn out.

Upon arriving home, Tony walked to his front door and placed the key in the lock. He opened the door, but then turned and walked toward his mailbox. He hadn't checked his mail in several days and knew that it was time that he did. Of course, Tony thought, as he saw bill after bill. And then, to his surprise, he saw an envelope with a handwritten return address on it. It was from Lynn's mother! He curiously opened it to find a short letter, a warranty deed, and a key.

Dear Tony,

I hope you are doing well, or at least as well as could be expected. I have moved into a long term care facility since it's getting so hard for me to get around these days. I am going to sell my home, but the condition of the mansion is too bad to even put on the market. I will leave it to you along with its contents. Maybe it will be of some use to you.

Tony was consumed with shock and surprise. Of course, she would be unable to keep the extra property while living in a nursing home. But for her to leave it to him? The mansion was special and important to Lynn. He had been there with her a few times, only when he had gone there looking for her. He was touched and a little bit excited to have this house that was so significant to Lynn. This is where she would often go to write in solitude. They always referred to it as the mansion but it was impressively similar to an old castle. And how Lynn's family came to possess such a magnificent structure was a complete mystery to him. The only thing in this world that she could've enclosed that would have meant more to him than this was Lynn's binder, a leather book that was filled with the poems that she had written during her lifetime. Tony had read them all while she was still alive, but he knew that he would never possess the book itself. Lynn's mother held onto it with the tightest grip imaginable, a grip worthy of a grieving mother.

Wasting no time, Tony locked his front door and got inside his car. After a moderate drive into the country, he arrived at the mysterious old mansion. She wasn't kidding when she mentioned the condition of it; it was in pretty bad shape. But to Tony, the monetary value of it was inconsequential. He would never sell it anyway.

As he placed the key inside the lock, it seemed that for a moment he could feel her. It was to be expected considering that the last time he stood before this door, he was expecting it to open and for her to be standing behind it. Tony opened the door and entered the front foyer. It was almost just as he remembered it. There were a few things missing, such as a painting on the wall and a statue that once sat in the corner. Lynn's mother had taken some things, but not very many. But it wasn't as well kept as it once had been. Without her frequent visits and maintenance, dust had settled and cobwebs covered the ceiling corners.

The next room was a sitting room, and it was the farthest that Tony had ever ventured into the mansion. There was a couch and a few reclining chairs that he had often sat on while conversing with Lynn and waiting for her to finish whatever she had been working on. Usually when she was finished writing, the two of them would leave and go on a drive or some other adventure that Lynn had in mind. Tony sat in his usual chair and looked around, absorbing the familiarity and nostalgia. She'll never know just how much I miss her, he thought.

Looking at the door that led to the next room, Tony was hesitant to venture farther in. He considered that since Lynn had never taken him beyond this room, that there might be a reason. She was very private, and there were some things that she kept close, even from him. But then again, as the new owner he obviously had to look it over and see what it would take to restore the old home. Besides, she probably just didn't want him to see the rooms that were falling apart. Tony opened the door to the next room and was delighted at the sight that stood before him.

What is this doing here?

Before him, set an old antique piano. It had once been in the other house, inside Lynn's home. Several years ago, he had noticed that it was missing. Considering that Lynn's aging late father had been out of work, Tony assumed that they had sold it out of necessity, and he had never brought up the subject. But now, he was excited to see that he had been wrong about that. So many memories, he thought. This was the very piano that he and Lynn had sat at over fifteen years ago, where she had taught him to play Heart and Soul with her. She had taught him several things on the piano, which nurtured a love for music inside of him that ultimately led to him pursuing it semi-professionally. Eager to play the old instrument, Tony sat down on the bench and noticed that on the music stand there was a small black notebook.

Intrigued, Tony picked up the notebook, moved the black ribbon aside, and opened it. The gilded lines on the first page were empty except for Lynn's name written in her own one of kind beautiful handwriting. But on the next page, there was a curiously odd line written.

Emptiness seals, until melody reveals

Tony began to play Heart and Soul on the old antique piano in C as they had always done. However, it didn't feel quite right. He was able to play both parts himself, but that's not how they did it. So, he proceeded to play the treble part, one note at a time. After two rounds of the melody, Tony felt a gentle breeze and the presence he was all too familiar with. Lynn was here.

He opened the notebook to see a sight that simultaneously filled him with both a joy and a sorrow that he couldn't possibly contain. The notebook now contained her poems, in her own handwriting. Tony was so overcome by the revelation, that he didn't question how it could be possible. He didn't care. As much as he wanted to read her precious gems, he was inspired to do something more.

Tony proceeded to play the piano again, but this time the tones echoed with the agony and regret contained in the many songs he had written for Lynn. He sang with the passion and love of a man who knew that he finally had the chance to express what he had failed to while she had been alive. He knew the words and the notes would reach her because her presence in the room was undeniable. With soaking wet eyes and a voice that was hoarse and soar from the combination of singing and sobbing, he stopped playing and picked up the notebook. On the second page after the last poem, a letter began that filled the rest of the notebook.

Tony read the letter in its entirety, and the pages that contained her calligraphic handwriting would always contain the many tears that were shed on them. Once he had finished reading it, he found the loose floorboard that the letter mentioned and the metal box beneath it that contained Lynn's life savings: twenty thousand dollars. He knew instantly what he would spend it on. As he walked through the rest of the mansion and examined the other rooms and the repairs that would be needed, he knew that it would at least be enough to cover the most necessary improvements. He would hold the notebook and her poems for the rest of his days with a grip worthy of his grief. And a portion of Lynn's letter would never fail to resonate and resound within his heart.

You can't live your life today while being consumed by the regrets of yesterday. Of course, there were things I wanted to hear from you that you never said. But the worst thing ever is watching you suffer. You were always my heart and soul, and the times we spent will forever be a part of us. Forgive yourself and live. If not for you then at least for me. And I will always live on in your memories, as long as you always remember the times we had...

I hope you enjoyed this story and if you did please consider leaving a tip. Thanks, --Vince :)