A Toast to the Uncomfortable

He sips and sips again. I can’t help myself but stare. There’s just something so attractive about him. The way he grasps that glass and brings it to his lips. The red from his wine bouncing off his face. ‘Oh my God! What is wrong with me? I feel like such a creeper!’ But I just can’t stop looking at him.

I wonder what his story is. Why is a man like that sitting all alone in a nice suit, drinking wine. He looks like a whisky drinker to me...Ok, now I'm sure people are staring at me staring at this man. ‘I should go talk to him. No, or should I? Ugh, why am I so weird?’ Ok. here I go.

I make my way next to him at the bar.

"What are you drinking?" I ask him, all weirdo like.

“Merlot,'' he answered.

“Ah, a little blackbird for the night,” I remark all dark and mysterious. He looks at me in such a puzzled way. I can feel my body starting to sweat, which makes me sweat more. I pause to swallow. “Um, it's French, merlot in French means a little black bird, or something like that.” He looks down at his glass as the wine is swirling and the light breaks the red all around.

“I’m surprised I didn’t know that,” he says. I see him smirk, slightly.

“What brings you here tonight,” I ask, gaining more confidence.

“I stop by from time to time after work, I like this place.”

“Ya, it's really nice,” I say looking around, like I haven't been here 100 times. “So, why Merlot?”

“Oh, it was my sister's favorite, ya, she’s the one that got me into wine. She would always bring me a bottle for babysitting my nephews. She never even bothered to ask what I actually liked and eventually I just fell in love with it,” he said as if reminiscing on something super funny.

“You said ‘was’ why isn’t it her favorite anymore?” I ask absentmindedly trying to keep the conversation going. As he swallowed his sip, I realized that was not a smooth move on my part. I waited for his response, knowing I wasn't gonna like it.

“She passed this year” he nodded trying not to make eye contact.

“Oh, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up such a memory,” I say as my cheeks start to heat up.

“No, it’s ok. I miss her, she was the only person in the world I could trust. She was awesome and crazy. She drove me crazy, but she was my big sister. On long work days like today, I like to have a glass of wine to remember her, as if she were here to hear me complain.” he stopped talking and stared right into my soul. My body weakened. What do I say next? I pray nothing stupid. Again.

“Anyway, that’s that, please don’t feel bad. This year has been bad for everyone. I'm enjoying your company tonight, would you like a cup?” he asked as he motioned to the wine. I felt the mood lighten.

“Yes, I would love one, thank you.” I smiled awkwardly. I could feel I did. I received my glass of wine and I turned towards him more. I raised the glass, ‘to your awesome and crazy sister,’ hoping he would reciprocate. “To my awesome and crazy sister,” he laughed. Finally! I got him to laugh.

We finished the bottle, hugged, and went our separate ways outside of the bar. As I walked away I thought I had completely blown it.

“Hey, blackbird” I heard him yell behind me. I turn and see him run back to me. I immediately imagined him picking me up, twirling me, and kissing me hard...He didn't.

“Would you like to go on a date with me,” he asked shily.

“Second date,” I said firmly.

“Second?” he asked me all confused.

“Ya! First dates are so awkward. What do you think that was?” I asked him as I pointed towards the bar.

“Right,” he smirked, “second date.”

I didn’t get that kiss but I got a second date. And who knows, I may even fall in love with wine too!