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A Thank You Letter

From a Strong, Independent Girl

By Sarah BakerPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Why?

What did I do?

These questions go through my mind as I replay the last year over and over in my mind. What did I do to make you stop loving me, to make you choose her? What did I do to make you run away? What did I do to scare you off?

What did I do?

One year ago you told me that you cared about me.

That no one else comes close.

That you couldn't contain those feelings anymore.

You told me you wanted to do one thing: prove to me that you were different. That what I knew about love and relationships were false. A lie.

But I now realize that my conception of love wasn't the lie.

You were.

You told me you loved everything about me. But when I stood up for myself and was the independent woman that I always am, you ran the other direction. You told me that there was something wrong with me and that I needed to change.

You were the lie.

You promised that you wouldn't be like the others. You wouldn't cheat. You would fight for me. You would love me unconditionally. I didn't know that I needed to be what you wanted for that to happen.

You were the lie.

You told me that we would take it slow. That you understand that I am cautious and protective. But when I told you that it was going too fast, that I wasn't ready, you chose to find someone easy. You chose to give up on me and go for someone dependent. Someone who would do anything you would say instead of having a mind of their own.

You were the lie. Not me.

I was always the same blunt, sarcastic independent woman that I have always been. You knew that. You even said that you loved that about me. What I didn't realize is that in the back of your mind, you thought you would change me. You thought that once I was hooked that you would turn me into the person you wanted.

But I didn't change.

I chose to stay true to myself. I chose me...and you couldn't handle that.

I didn't change, but you did.

Soon, I didn't recognize you. The sweet, selfless guy I met two years ago was no longer there. You changed. You showed your true colors.

You did. I didn't

I didn't push you away. I didn't force anything on you.

You did.

The only thing I know I lied about was how strong my feelings were for you. I told you a blanket statement because for some reason my inner voice told me to hold back. To not trust completely. I didn't know why my head was yelling at my heart.

But now I do.

Now I know that I will always trust my head over my heart. That although I love to strongly and care too deeply, I will always keep myself at a safe distance. That no matter what a person says, I will always think the worst. To prepare for the worst.

So thank you.

Thank you for proving me right. Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself. Thank you for reminding me the sad truth about life. Thank you for being a disappointment.

But most of all, thank you for proving to me that only a strong man can handle a strong woman. Thank you for being intimidated and weak. You showed me the kind of guy that gives up and moves on.

And guess what...I don't want that.

I don't want you.

breakups
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About the Creator

Sarah Baker

Thanks for reading! I love to write about life while being real and authentic. I love to travel and teach as well. If you like what you read, then go check out my page for my other posts:)

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