A Story Of Going Down The Twin Flame Rabbit Hole

The term Twin Flames has been popular and trending for the last several years. A psychic friend of mine introduced me to it. She told me I had met my Twin Flame. This is my story.

I book music and promote shows in Huntsville Alabama. I was listening to You-Tube one evening while cooking dinner. A song came on that I really resonated with. I looked the band up on Facebook and sent them a message explaining who I am and stated that if they ever tour this way to hit me up. They did, and I gave them a date at one of the venues where I ran a music calender. I found a local band to open for them and looked forward to hearing the songs live. I didn't know much about the band members, which is very common for me. I'm a single Mom with a full time job, music is my "passion" job. I love live events and have often sought employment that involves participating in them.

The day of the show I worked, fed my kid, tried to take a short nap, woke up a little late, showered and headed to the venue. The owners of the venue owned two bars, I ran both of their music calenders. The touring band was staying with a bartender from the other bar. I got there as the first band was maybe half way through their set. There was a good crowd. I met the touring band, we know some people in common, as the world of booking music can be quite small. Then they played. I drank whiskey and danced with my friends. I paid them while they were still on stage. I don't like holding other peoples money very long. After it was over we talked about meeting at the other bar where a different band had played. I drove over there alone. I got a text and it took me a moment to realize it was a member of the touring band asking where I'd gone. I replied, and they showed up there. We drank some more and then I was leaving, the man who text me got into my car and came to my house with me. A few hours later I drove him back to the bartenders apartment.

When their tour was over and he was back at home, which is several states away from me, he messaged me. I had a real good time with him, but I didn't expect to hear from him again. After chatting in messenger for a little while, we did exchange numbers. He called me one night drunk, I was also drunk, passed out and missed the call. I was asking him questions about himself one evening in messenger and he asked me if I had stalked him on Face Book yet, I had not. So, I did. I found out he is married, has several children, and that we have the same birthday, only I'm a few years older.

A friend of mine is a professional Psychic. Not long after meeting the guy who was on tour, I went to visit with her. She told me that I had met my Twin Flame. She was very excited about it and even painted our energy. His is the blue painting below and I am the other. She gave them to me to keep and said I would understand their meanings in time.

I didn't know what Twin Flames were so I hit the internet. The basic definition is that they are one soul living in two seperate bodies.

" your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it" - Rumi

I spent a lot of time researching and investigating the subject of Twin Flames. There is so much information out there. To be perfectly honest, it's a belief base phenomena. There are those who believe everyone has one. There are those who believe special people whose souls have evolved so much they split into two, The Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine. There is the belief that Twin Flames can only be in relationship when they have cleared all of their negative Karma. That Twins meet at a special time on Earth to bring the human race to a new level of understanding by raising it's vibration to the fifth dimension. There is the belief that Twins are each other's mirror and meant to reflect both our good and bad qualities back to us. A golden chord connects these two life lines that can never be severed. That twins do not always incarnate at the same time and your Twin may be where we are when we are not alive. That there are 7 stages to a Twin Flame relationship. Then there's the 224,000 Twin Souls who came to the planet Earth from Venus to help the world during Ascension. Almost every religion has some type of Twin Flame belief.

I tried discussing these idea's with my "Twin Flame." I did all kinds of very strange things while in the rabbit hole of the web. I wrote him long letters in messenger. I wrote about him on Facebook, not directly. I wrote poems and created paintings of my own. He mostly ignored me and went on with his life. He stayed in his marriage and had another baby. I was obsessed with this new idea and the prospect of my own divinity.

This is when things got unhealthy for me. Facebook is a great tool for staying connected with family and friends. It is useful in promoting events and furthering a business. It is a terrible way to stalk someone and I facebook stalked the hell out of that guy, analyzing every photo, every post. I'd block him and then re-friend him, or I unfriended him once and he sent me a friend request from a different page. Nothing I read or learned about Twin Flames was any help. Everything I read normalized the behaviors in the fact that Twin's go through these stages. That there are no-contact phases. that one Twin is a runner and the other a chaser. There are collectives of women who pray that men leave their wives to be with them. That's where I eventually had to say enough and I don't want to believe in this anymore. We were not communicating and in no way had that man ever lead me to believe he was who I said he was. I needed to get myself out of this hole and get on with my life.

It was a couple of years I spent down there, toying with the possibility of all of those beliefs, listening to Tarot video's with the messages from the collective consciousness of the Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine. I at one point think I sent him one of those video's. I will say this about him, he was never mean. He doesn't believe in psychic's, but he never once called me crazy or blocked me.

There was one time, a few month's after our first and only meeting that I could have seen him again. I was driving through Chicago. His band was playing a gig. I drove around the place again and again, eventually returning the highway and continuing on my journey. I was headed to watch my mother die in Minnesota. I would not have been able to stay had I gone in and I didn't have the courage, self respect or self-esteem. The man had cheated on his wife with me, I did not know how I would be perceived walking in there. I didn't know if he would want to see me and I was full of a lot of pain. I will always wonder, if I missed an opportunity at a different life, or did I make the right choice.

I will say this about my Twin Flame journey. I learned alot about myself trying to clear my Karma so that my Twin and I could be together and save the planet from destruction. I learned how to love myself. I think that truly came the day I said No More. The day I stopped living my life on a jpourney to be with my Twin and instead changed it to path of becoming whole.

Do I think my psychic friend is wrong. No. World famous psychic Sylvia Browne states in her auto-biography that she doesn't believe in soul mates, but that we do all have a twin. Mine and I did not get together and the world certainly has been experiencing calamity. Do I believe we have a part to play in that, I don't know, I don't think anyone really does, that's the thing with belief, there's no evidence for it, it's as true or untrue as you decide it is.

Thank you for reading my story. I have another Vocal story that I wrote while down in that hole. please read it too.