A step away

I turned around and walked away firmly, as it took everything in my mind ,body and soul not to cry. I quickly went down the steps of the small house and landed on the narrow side walk. I took deep breaths and picked up my pace as I continued to rush forward. “Please, Elaine, wait!” He said as he came running after me. His voice was high pitched and he had almost tripped down the steps behind me. I knew this because I heard a fumbling and “woah” under his breath. He caught up to me and grabbed my arm to try to stop me. I turned around to him quickly, staring straight into his eyes and stated without hesitation,“let. me.go.” His gaze lingered on me, but he slowly let me go. As I continued forward he kept a steady pace along beside me. “Elaine, I am so sorry,please let me explain” I kept walking. “Elaine, I can fix this, please, just wait” I kept walking until I got to the end of the sidewalk, where my car was parked along the street. He stepped ahead of me and stood in front of my door, “Elaine, I’m not letting you leave, please just let me explain.” He studied my face intensely. I readjusted my purse, because I was thinking about hitting him with it. I looked at him. I was still holding my tears together; my face bare and still. I took a deep breath. “Leland, move.” He continued to look at me with regret. I returned a strong stare. “Please, let me apologize….at least,” he said taking a step closer to me. I took a step back, looking in another direction and took another deep breath. I didn’t say it, but I was giving him a chance to speak as I stood there. He understood me quickly and stated, “Elaine, I was being absolutely stupid and selfish and dumb, and- and I wasn’t thinking about you at all at that moment. I wasn’t thinking about how much it would hurt or embarrass you at all… I promise that I was not trying to gossip or talk bad about you, it just came out in a natural conversation. I take full responsibility for how you feel right now, and I will never, ever, ever, ever let that happen again. Elaine, I am so sorry.” My heart did soften a bit, but it had not completely taken away the anger I was currently feeling. I looked at him and his eyes were weary and sad,he meant every word. I wasn’t ready to reply yet so I continued to my door, and he slowly moved out of the way. “ Thank you for at least listening to me, I’m so sorry Elaine” he said as I attempted to unlock the door, but I dropped my keys. He stepped forward to get them, but I snatched them up quickly and placed them in the door, turned it,and got in. He watched me as I started the car, and pulled forward. Once I got to the end of the street I looked in me rearview mirror and could see him still standing at the end of the sidewalk. His head was down and his arms were folded. I turned into the lane to go home and a tear rolled down my eyes and I didn’t wipe it off. I let it roll down my Brown cheek, to my chin. I drove and breathed, breathed and drove. My mind moved,replaced, and replayed what had just happened, trying to find an understandable medium. I turned up the radio and drove.