A Special Thank You

It's that time of the year, my friends. This is that one day of the year where we ramble on about what we're thankful for and never post about it again for another year. Facebook and Instagram are bloated with pictures and statuses of the people and things that we're thankful for, and then we spend the next year building up a collage to post for the next Thanksgiving. Most folks I know would post pictures about their families or careers. Don't get wrong, I AM grateful for the things in my life, but I don't often feel the need to make a ginormous post about it. Today, I am making an exception, but I'm not going to boast about the usual things that I've been grateful for my whole life. Instead, I wish to project a spotlight on a particular group of people that have shaped my life in the past year.

When I first learned that I was autistic back in high school, my head was spinning faster than a hamster wheel. I didn't have any friends on the spectrum, and I didn't know who to talk to. Instead of reaching out to other people, I've spent the next three years researching autism so I could have a better understanding of how my mind works. It wasn't until my sophomore year of college when I finally felt comfortable enough to come out as autistic to my peers. Even though my friends accepted me and grew to understand how I functioned, I didn't find a group of other autistics to click with until after I graduated.

I first joined TikTok back in October of 2018 after a friend asked me to be in one of her videos. I was immediately hooked and mostly posted funny and trendy videos. Fast forward to April 2019, and I'm posting my first autism-related TikTok. Kesha's cover of "This Is Me" is playing as I hold up a sign reading "Autistic and ashamed" in black letters. Noticing how negative the message appeared to be, I take out a red colored pencil and add a few letters so the sign now reads "Autistic and unashamed". I don't remember exactly how many views and likes it received, but it was far more than what I had predicted and the comments consisted of nothing but love and acceptance. After seeing the positive reception, I decided to post more autism videos on my account.

Fast forward to August where a fellow autistic notices one of my videos and duets to it. We immediately bonded and became good friends. Sometime later, he invites me to join a group chat of other autistics on TikTok. I don't know many autistics in my area, so it was quite the treat to be thrown into a chat room filled with other autistics from other states and countries. Soon after that, I've found myself thrown into other autistic group chats, and each one had a diverse ensemble. These weren't the Rain Man type of autistics that you'd see on TV; I met autistics who were black, white, male, female, trans, non-binary, Christian, atheist, and everything in between. Just when I thought I knew everything about autism, these lovely angels swooped in and showed me new sights that I never knew existed.

I knew I was taking a risk posting about autism, but I also knew that some risks pay off. Yes, I have received some rather mean comments from ableists, but there was a silver lining to all of this. My funny and educational videos drew attention from fellow autistics who filled my DMs with gratitude. They were thanking me for spreading awareness and asking if they could share their special interests with me. It was clear that these viewers didn't have anyone who accepted them for who they were, so I happily listened to what they had to say. I also received messages from parents who asked for my advice on how to be a better parent for their autistic child. I was pretty overwhelmed by all of these messages, but I ultimately felt honored to be looked up to like that, especially since I once believed that I would never be a good enough role model to look up to.

For Thanksgiving this year, I'm giving thanks to the autism community and all of my fans on TikTok. I've spent most of my life believing that I wasn't going to amount to anything, and it was my time on TikTok that really helped me realize the impact I could make. I know my calling, and I'm ready to make a difference.