A Society All About Sex

Growing up, I was always told that sex was intimate and close. A theory I questioned as I got older. Why would people just sleep around if it was intimate? Why do they not cherish it? The questions that led me down dark paths. I dove into a world of free love. Men being fuck boys and girls sleeping with a different man every night. I was a virgin. Not sure if I'd ever fit in with society's outlook on love and sex. I flirted with womanizers, frat boys, horny nerds, and even a few bad boys. All just to fit in. I realized I didn't want to fit in when one boy decided to try and pressure me into giving him pleasure. Whatever.

Yeah, I had curves. I had a bust and a nice ass. I wanted to be more than that to a boy. I wanted to be valued for who I was. I'm not a feminist, but I'm sure not just another piece of ass for a man's scoreboard.

Society told me about how sex sales. Men told me sleeping around made me look cool... seductive. Influencers made me question self-respect and how we display our bodies the moment their clothes got smaller and less seen. Women told me not to settle and to test the waters. My heart told me to value myself. A notion that only lasted a year. I stooped so low. Giving away my virginity as if it was an ugly sweater. I became what I hated most about society. I handled it like a business transaction just because I got tired of men chasing after me for only that. Love and intimacy was a farce. Stupid and foolish in the eyes of a broken woman. I began to question myself immensely.

Now I'm not an innocent girl and I don't try to be. I've been hoodwinked by dumbasses and sexually assaulted by my own best friend's ex-fiancé. What a life I've lived. I thought I had even met someone who actually cherished me. I was too blind to notice how he treated me so horribly. How I spent so much time by myself even when I was at his home and yet he still thought he deserved sex. And like an idiot, I gave him that. I belittled myself for what I thought was love. This last relationship is really what made me realized you don't need sex for love. Sex doesn't define love and it's not required for love. It's not a token needed to play the game.

I stepped out of my comfort zone to write about a topic I use to find so taboo but I thought it would allow for a good moral. A good lesson to come about in all this. Whether you are a teenager hitting puberty, a college-age young adult attending frat parties for the first time, or a veteran adult, love isn't a farce; and sex, while it can be special in the right cases, isn't a requirement. It's not a necessary payment for love and it should not be thrown around like a hacky sack. If sex and intimacy are put on the table, it should be done in trust. Sex doesn't equal love, but it definitely isn't a football meant to be thrown between players. Know the game, but don't play it.