So many people at this party ... so many people and it bothers me, but I don't care. There are people dancing to the beat of the music, the beautiful lights moving along with the beats of the music, so much corruption in peoples hearts as they dance and kiss through the night.
I'm not much for parties, but I couldn't resist. I came to this event because of one thing or, in this case, one person. She's too pure for this atmosphere.
There she is with her friends with her white top and her black jeans. From a distance she looks like any other girl but for some reason I can easily point her out. Her posture, height, and length can be easily seen. The number one thing that makes her unique, as stupid and cliche it sounds, is that she looks like an angel. Hell, she might as well be an angel.
She's coming over here! My heart is pounding and my stomach feels like there are a million butterflies rummaging around. As she sits next to me on the couch, I notice the way her long black hair sits upon her shoulder. Her eyes just light up like a million stars and her smile bright as the sun.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She smiles.
"What d-do you mean?" I stuttered.
"I mean you're looking at me as if this is the last time you're gonna see me."
"I'm sorry..." I sighed.
"Why do you always apologize?" She asks. "You have nothing to be sorry about".
"I'm sorr—I mean, alright, I'll try to stop."
She smiles. "Good."
There was a long paused before she asked me, "Why are you just sitting here? I didn't invite you to a party to not 'party', that defeats the whole purpose."
"I'm not sure," I answered. "I just have a difficult time doing so."
"Well ... tonight let's make it not as difficult, c'mon, let's dance!" She insisted.
"I'm not much of a dancer."
"C'mon don't be a sour puss," as she pucker her lips, "Just one dance! After that, you can be a sour puss again."
"I don't know..."
"Please, I can't beg forever you know."
With a look of disappointment, she says, okay. As she get's up and leaves, she says,"If you changed your mind, you know where to find me."
I don't know why I did that. I just couldn't say yes. My dumbass couldn't say yes because of my stupid insecurities. I wanted to say yes, but I just couldn't. There she is dancing alone. I know we have a connection and she sees it too, but I can't have her. I don't deserver her. She's so pure minded. Even though she's here at a party with corrupted hearts, she's the only light I can see. What am I? My heart and mind has been damaged so many times—my depression kicking me as if it wants me dead, my insecurities stopping me from doing what I want to do. I know no one's perfect, but for her, it has to be. She needs better in her life.
I mentioned that I couldn't resist accepting her invitation to this dumb party. As it is the truth, it's not the full truth. I had planned something special for tonight, let's just say it'll be the last night of my life. The reason I accepted her invitation was because I wanted to spend my last night in her presence. I wanted to see her one last time before my final moments.
So, to the one that was there.
"Jennifer, I'm sorry."