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A New Kind Of Love

The Sweetness Within

By Renee FesserPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
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A New Kind Of Love
Photo by Sarah Wolfe on Unsplash

How does one find the love they seek? Within of course and this sweet love first comes with the sweet compassion one finds for self. This is a trail blazing fire of unconditional self-love. The greatest love story you will ever read or write is your very own. If you are struggling you might find this hard to believe or even imagine. Stay with me here I promise this will make sense.

I know you might be making eyes and faces right now as you read this. Thinking isn't there enough of this in the world? The truth is no there isn't. Narcissism is not self love. On the contrary for Narcissism and Narcissists feel so bad about themselves that the need the admiration and devotion of others to lift them up. Of course this is a spectrum and we all search for external validation from others from time to time. Self- love is loving your self with compassion and radical acceptance excepting the good, bad and the ugly. Self- love is the fuel for loving others and what is needed to heal this world.

Where does one start? Well, you are at the right place right now by reading this piece. Self- love isn't like purchasing a new outfit or getting a makeover self- love takes time and is more about the internal than the external. We can learn to have a healthy self esteem and this is by exposing ourself to small doses of self- love talk. Mirror work is one way we can practice this. We can take a few moments in our day for this exercise. We can even write out what we want to believe on our mirror to practice reading. If you are really struggling in this department starting with " I am OK" is a great start. " I am here, now and I am ok" and I am a human being experiencing life and I am Ok. We can start with a small smile looking into our own eyes gazing and searching for the glimmer or self- love. If you are tired you can say " I did a great job getting up out of bed". Your self dialogue is special and can be very simple. Often we have negative self -talk going on in our head so taking a mindful minute to break that cognitive loop by saying anything different than the constant negative chatter will have a big impact". Self- love is what we say to ourself and how we practice this love language on a daily basis.

Self -love can also look like daily self care. Taking care of yourself and taking time to nourish, clean , move your body and inspire your mind is feeding your whole body. We often get caught up living for others that we forget that we are alive in this body of ours. We can be on a fast train to nowhere with adrenalin as our guide and feel like we are spinning our wheels out of control. To break the cycle take a pause and get off the track.

My last suggestion for this piece is writing! You don't need to be a writer and it only takes a few minutes each day. Start writing out what you like about yourself and read out loud. Record yourself by audio or video and play so you can hear yourself. For example on this date ( fill in the blank) I am committed to healthy eating and nourishing my body as well as my mind. Examples that I have that support this are : I drank enough water today, ate plenty of greens and read three articles as well as an audio book recording. Doing these things made me feel strong and hopeful. The focus is on what we did do and how we feel as a result.

I hope you feel inspired to try some of these exercises. Have a little fun and get creative. You are amazing, exceptional and a unique creation. You are bliss and what a better why to find this out then by cultivating a daily self care self0 love routine.

Take care

Renee

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About the Creator

Renee Fesser

Renee is writer, therapist and lover of life and love. She loves working with people helping them to live their best lives. As an artist Renee continues to explore what this means. She loves writing about self help, love and poetry .

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